Friendly Fire?
Andrew Malekoff©
Mary Tillman is the mother of Army Ranger Pat Tillman, who was killed in Afghanistan. She wrote the book Boots on the Ground by Dusk, which detailed her attempt to find out the truth about her son’s death and exposed a cover-up by the Pentagon and the White House. Mary Tillman dedicated the book to “all military families, who are seeking to understand the sacrifices their sons and daughters have made. They too are entitled to the truth from their government.”
Pat Tillman was arguably the most famous soldier serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. He was an outstanding professional football player with the Arizona Cardinals, who passed up a multi-million dollar contract to join the U.S. Army in 2002. Tillman’s family had a legacy of military service and he felt compelled to fall in step after the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack against America.
Tillman had movie-star good looks and an incisive and curious mind. He was a free spirit and a risk-taker. He did not subscribe to any religion, yet he was deeply spiritual. He was married to his high school sweetheart, Marie, and, with her support, enlisted in the Army, along with his younger brother, Kevin. Her two eldest sons advised their mom of their decision on Mother’s Day, May 9, 2002.
When the United States invaded Afghanistan in 2002, Pat Tillman said, regarding his decision to enlist, "Sports embodied many of the qualities I deem meaningful. However, these last few years, and especially after recent events, I've come to appreciate just how shallow and insignificant my role is . . . It's no longer important."
Tillman expected to serve in Afghanistan, but did not anticipate the war in Iraq, where he spent his first tour of duty, although he was uneasy about fighting in what he considered to be an illegal war. Sometime later, while in a canyon in Afghanistan, he was killed by gunfire. His death on April 22, 2004 was first attributed to an ambush by enemy forces. A nationally televised memorial service was then held to honor him on May 3, 2004.
As more details became known regarding the circumstances of his death, it was clear that he was not ambushed by the enemy but was killed by “friendly fire” - fratricide. Official documents later revealed that the Army withheld this information from the public and the family until sometime after the memorial service.
In the intervening years Pat’s mom, doggedly searched through thousands of pages of heavily redacted testimony in order to get to the truth. Regarding her tireless search, she observed, "This isn't about Pat, this is about what they did to Pat and what they did to a nation. By making up these false stories, you're diminishing their true heroism. [The truth] may not be pretty, but that's not what war is all about. It's ugly, it's bloody, it's painful. And to write these glorious tales is really a disservice to the nation."
Although the Tillman Story was more well-publicized than many other accounts of war, in the days and months to come more and more soldiers will be returning home to Long Island. Sadly, some families will be left with only emptiness and grief. According to the Veteran’s Health Alliance of Long Island (VHALI), of the 1,000,000 veterans who live in New York State, 174,000 of them live on Long Island. In fact, Long Island is second only to San Diego in the percentage of veterans among its citizens.
In all cases we owe veterans and their families our understanding and support.
This column will be published in the Anton Newspapers, Long Island, NY in October 2010.
Showing posts with label veteran of war. Show all posts
Showing posts with label veteran of war. Show all posts
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, October 13, 2008
OUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
OUR FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS
By Andrew Malekoff©
I have known Jay since he was a school age child. After graduating from high school he enlisted in the armed forces where he rose to the rank of Army Specialist. Jay (not his real name) served during Operation Iraqi Freedom and operated a Bradley Fighting Vehicle, a tank that is used in open desert warfare and urban combat environments. Jay and I spent some time together when he was on leave.
Jay plopped himself down on a couch next to me. He opened his laptop, tilted it towards me, and began clicking on to the photos that he took in Iraq. I looked at photos of the local landscape; snapshots of Iraqis of all ages posing with and without American soldiers; pictures of caches of weapons and improvised explosive devices (IEDs); and group shots of soldiers in their teens and early twenties striking various poses, some showing off fresh tattoos.
Sometime after his return to Iraq, Jay was discharged. He received a Purple Heart after an explosion threw him from his tank, leading to severe head trauma. Because he has yet to receive medical clearance to drive a car, his dream of becoming a police officer is fast fading.
Upon his final return home, Jay described to me the circumstances leading to his injury and some of the other situations he encountered during his time at war. Although his stories were haunting reminders of the damaging effects of war, I felt privileged to be one of the trusted few to bear witness to his experience. I knew that my friendship alone would not be enough to help him with the demons that he was trying to shake loose.
Today there is a legion of Jays that are home and on their way home from Iraq and Afghanistan. Many will require a broad array of services to help them and their families with the transition to civilian life.
An April 2008 study by Rand Corporation found that nearly 20% of service men and women returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, or about 300,000, have symptoms of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder with characteristic symptoms of anxiety, depression, irritability, feelings of isolation, intrusive memories of traumatic moments in war, and difficulty sleeping. Yet only 50% have sought treatment, and they have encountered severe delays and deficits in getting care.
Many returning service members come back to families where their spouses have kept the family going during the deployment and have managed many crises and concerns. Some soldiers may not find it easy to accept that their family has changed and roles have shifted, if ever so slightly, in their absence.
Children often will need an adjustment period to warm up to the returning parent. For example, younger children may act shy around them or may not appreciate the returning parent’s need to take care of themselves and to spend time with their partner. Teenage children may seem detached or distant as they spend many hours away from home with their friends, engaged in social activities. Without support, the returning service member may misinterpret this expected behavior and experience it as a personal affront.
As we approach the seventh anniversary of 9/11, let us not forget our military service members who were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, and their families. I recently had a conversation with John Grillo, a Viet Nam era veteran and board member at North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center. He reminded me that, "The majority of these young men and women are the sons and daughters of our friends and neighbors. For some of us it may even be our son or daughter. For the most part they look okay and act just like us, even though they may be silently struggling with events of their most recent war time experiences. These young men and women deserve our sensitivity and our absolute support."
I don't think that I could have said it any better, and I couldn't agree more.
Originally published in the Anton chain of newspapers, Long Island, New York.
By Andrew Malekoff©
I have known Jay since he was a school age child. After graduating from high school he enlisted in the armed forces where he rose to the rank of Army Specialist. Jay (not his real name) served during Operation Iraqi Freedom and operated a Bradley Fighting Vehicle, a tank that is used in open desert warfare and urban combat environments. Jay and I spent some time together when he was on leave.
Jay plopped himself down on a couch next to me. He opened his laptop, tilted it towards me, and began clicking on to the photos that he took in Iraq. I looked at photos of the local landscape; snapshots of Iraqis of all ages posing with and without American soldiers; pictures of caches of weapons and improvised explosive devices (IEDs); and group shots of soldiers in their teens and early twenties striking various poses, some showing off fresh tattoos.
Sometime after his return to Iraq, Jay was discharged. He received a Purple Heart after an explosion threw him from his tank, leading to severe head trauma. Because he has yet to receive medical clearance to drive a car, his dream of becoming a police officer is fast fading.
Upon his final return home, Jay described to me the circumstances leading to his injury and some of the other situations he encountered during his time at war. Although his stories were haunting reminders of the damaging effects of war, I felt privileged to be one of the trusted few to bear witness to his experience. I knew that my friendship alone would not be enough to help him with the demons that he was trying to shake loose.
Today there is a legion of Jays that are home and on their way home from Iraq and Afghanistan. Many will require a broad array of services to help them and their families with the transition to civilian life.
An April 2008 study by Rand Corporation found that nearly 20% of service men and women returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, or about 300,000, have symptoms of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder with characteristic symptoms of anxiety, depression, irritability, feelings of isolation, intrusive memories of traumatic moments in war, and difficulty sleeping. Yet only 50% have sought treatment, and they have encountered severe delays and deficits in getting care.
Many returning service members come back to families where their spouses have kept the family going during the deployment and have managed many crises and concerns. Some soldiers may not find it easy to accept that their family has changed and roles have shifted, if ever so slightly, in their absence.
Children often will need an adjustment period to warm up to the returning parent. For example, younger children may act shy around them or may not appreciate the returning parent’s need to take care of themselves and to spend time with their partner. Teenage children may seem detached or distant as they spend many hours away from home with their friends, engaged in social activities. Without support, the returning service member may misinterpret this expected behavior and experience it as a personal affront.
As we approach the seventh anniversary of 9/11, let us not forget our military service members who were deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, and their families. I recently had a conversation with John Grillo, a Viet Nam era veteran and board member at North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center. He reminded me that, "The majority of these young men and women are the sons and daughters of our friends and neighbors. For some of us it may even be our son or daughter. For the most part they look okay and act just like us, even though they may be silently struggling with events of their most recent war time experiences. These young men and women deserve our sensitivity and our absolute support."
I don't think that I could have said it any better, and I couldn't agree more.
Originally published in the Anton chain of newspapers, Long Island, New York.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)