LOST LOVE
By Andrew Malekoff© 2010
Last past spring brought the tragic news of the death of Yeardley Love, a member of the University of Virginia women’s lacrosse team, allegedly at the hands of her boyfriend, a UVA men’s lacrosse team player, in an alcohol-fueled fit of rage. Both teams competed in NCAA championship tournaments after Love was buried.
News of the tragedy and the school’s subsequent decision to play on, led me to wonder about how Love’s surviving teammates and friends coped with their emotional turmoil. Being a student-athlete requires a difficult balancing act. Yet there can be no preparation for sudden, inexplicable and violent death.
To explore this further, I interviewed Bob Malekoff, professor of sports studies at Guilford College in Greensboro, N.C., and former men’s lacrosse and women’s soccer coach at Princeton University. Bob is also my younger brother and the author of the critically acclaimed book, On the Mark: Putting the Student Back in Student-Athlete.
Andy: What do you think about the decision of the UVA teams to play after Love’s death?
Bob: While the two coaches were likely consulted, the ultimate decision would lie with the athletic director and senior university administration - including the president. Although cancellation may have been a wise course of action, there was a great deal of discussion about honoring the wishes of the Love family, which were for both teams to compete in the tournament.
Andy: How do intercollegiate athletics fare when it comes to monitoring off-field behavior?
Bob: Competitive success typically trumps behavioral conduct. This can be seen at all levels from youth sports through professional ranks and, certainly, in intercollegiate athletics. As interest in the game of lacrosse has grown, there is increasing pressure on coaches to win championships. This might lead to less vigilance regarding the off-field behavioral issues of some athletes.
Andy: How does the culture of intercollegiate athletics affect young people just out of high school?
Bob: This depends on the coach and administration. There are coaches who focus on the whole person. Others focus almost exclusively on winning. The shame in the latter is that it doesn't have to be an either-or proposition. Although some conveniently blame coaches, they ought to look, as well, at college leaders who reward competitive success and little else. Coaches who consistently make values-based decisions should be supported and lauded.
Andy: Some reports suggest that, prior to Love’s death, there were signs of violence by her boyfriend.
Bob: No one can blame Yeardley Love’s teammates or members of the men’s lacrosse team for this tragedy. However, there is no doubt that they are now far more aware of what a lethal combination unchecked anger and alcohol can be and how they can contribute to domestic violence.
At UVA’s graduation in May, Yeardley Love received a posthumous bachelor’s degree. In his final speech before retiring, University President John Casteen III recalled some things he would never forget about the school: "The sounds of children on the lawn during Halloween. The chapel's bells. The cheers at games... And the name of Yeardley Love."
Published in 18 Anton Newspapers on Long Island, NY, the week of July 26, 2010.
Showing posts with label alcohol abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcohol abuse. Show all posts
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Monday, October 13, 2008
THE ADVERTSING OF EVERYDAY LIFE
The Advertising of Everyday Life
Andrew Malekoff©
In the afterglow of the New York Giants heart-stopping victory in Super Bowl Forty-Two, here is a sobering thought: according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, nearly half of all traffic fatalities during last year’s Super Bowl weekend were caused by impaired drivers with blood alcohol levels of 0.08% and above. Super Bowl Sunday has become one of the deadliest days for drunk driving crashes. It has also become a banner day for alcohol advertisers.
On the eve of the Super Bowl, Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) traditionally calls on alcohol beverage marketers to avoid advertisements that appeal to young people. Who can forget Budweiser’s animated lizards Walter and Louie? The use of cartoon characters to promote brand loyalty at an early age is one of the more blatant marketing approaches. There are of course, more subtle and sophisticated approaches that play on the emotional lives of viewers of all ages.
I distinctly recall a televised beer commercial that posed the question, “Why ask why?” The ad portrayed a young man in a bar frustrated by his search for romance finally discovering a “true friend.” As the young man set out on his journey, viewers observed in him a sense of futility and resignation. The voiceover mused rhetorically, “Why ask why...while love isn’t easy…refreshment is.” The ad ended with the young man hoisting a bottle of his favorite brew to his lips.
What this commercial and many like it tell young people is: don't think, don’t feel, numb your senses, and recognize that relationships are hard work and hardly worth the effort. The ad says that although you cannot really depend on others, alcohol is dependable and delivers every time.
Advertisers are clever. Since their goal it is to sell products, it is only logical that they are going to present positive messages about drinking. According to a report issued by The Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (CAMY) at Georgetown University, from 2001 to 2005, underage youth were almost 250 times more likely to see an advertisement selling alcohol than one of the alcohol industry’s “responsibility” ads, designed to educate young people about the dangers of underage drinking. “The primary messages kids get about alcohol on television are from alcohol product ads that not surprisingly promote their use and enjoyment,” according to David Jernigan, executive director of CAMY.
One of the goals of advertisers is to try and establish brand name loyalty at a tender age. According to addictions experts, by the time our children are 21 years old they will have seen an average of 100,000 alcohol commercials. Since about ten percent of all drinkers consume about fifty percent of alcohol it’s clear that they’re targeting the most vulnerable of our young.
How do you suppose ordinary folks that don’t have the deep pockets of the alcohol industry can contend with this multi-billion-dollar bully pulpit? Have you ever heard the Texas Ranger creed? “No man in the wrong can stand up to a fellow in the right who keep on a –comin’.” Perhaps a corny saying from days done by, but this is just one example of what I refer to as “the advertising of everyday life.” We all know about this.
The advertising of everyday life is comprised of those homespun messages that parents and grandparents and other caregivers pass along to their children. Almost everyone can think of one or two from our growing up years. I believe that parents, and other caring adults, can be just as clever as Madison Avenue.
My mom was an antiques dealer known in the business as Antique Evelyn. She was a businesswoman first, but she loved collecting old signs and tins with interesting advertisements. When I was about 12-years-old Antique Evelyn brought home an old sign that read: None of us in our business or social life can coast along on a reputation of past performances. It’s the good job we do today that counts.
She framed the sign and placed it in a strategic place in the bathroom – just behind the toilet. This way my brother and I (and our dad) would come eye-to-eye with the sign several times a day, every day, year in and year out. According to my own calculations I zoomed in on that sign at least 5,000 times during my youth.
Coaches have slogans, preachers have sermons, teachers have lessons and my mom had signs. These are the advertisements of every day life. Some people might refer to this as imparting values. It is the collective commercials of everyday life that represent the “fellow in the right who keeps on “a-comin’,” a counterforce to the multi-billion-dollar bully and the rest of his gang.
Oh, and about mom’s sign; it is hangs in my office today.
Originally published in the Anton chain of newspapers, Long Island, New York.
Andrew Malekoff©
In the afterglow of the New York Giants heart-stopping victory in Super Bowl Forty-Two, here is a sobering thought: according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, nearly half of all traffic fatalities during last year’s Super Bowl weekend were caused by impaired drivers with blood alcohol levels of 0.08% and above. Super Bowl Sunday has become one of the deadliest days for drunk driving crashes. It has also become a banner day for alcohol advertisers.
On the eve of the Super Bowl, Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) traditionally calls on alcohol beverage marketers to avoid advertisements that appeal to young people. Who can forget Budweiser’s animated lizards Walter and Louie? The use of cartoon characters to promote brand loyalty at an early age is one of the more blatant marketing approaches. There are of course, more subtle and sophisticated approaches that play on the emotional lives of viewers of all ages.
I distinctly recall a televised beer commercial that posed the question, “Why ask why?” The ad portrayed a young man in a bar frustrated by his search for romance finally discovering a “true friend.” As the young man set out on his journey, viewers observed in him a sense of futility and resignation. The voiceover mused rhetorically, “Why ask why...while love isn’t easy…refreshment is.” The ad ended with the young man hoisting a bottle of his favorite brew to his lips.
What this commercial and many like it tell young people is: don't think, don’t feel, numb your senses, and recognize that relationships are hard work and hardly worth the effort. The ad says that although you cannot really depend on others, alcohol is dependable and delivers every time.
Advertisers are clever. Since their goal it is to sell products, it is only logical that they are going to present positive messages about drinking. According to a report issued by The Center on Alcohol Marketing and Youth (CAMY) at Georgetown University, from 2001 to 2005, underage youth were almost 250 times more likely to see an advertisement selling alcohol than one of the alcohol industry’s “responsibility” ads, designed to educate young people about the dangers of underage drinking. “The primary messages kids get about alcohol on television are from alcohol product ads that not surprisingly promote their use and enjoyment,” according to David Jernigan, executive director of CAMY.
One of the goals of advertisers is to try and establish brand name loyalty at a tender age. According to addictions experts, by the time our children are 21 years old they will have seen an average of 100,000 alcohol commercials. Since about ten percent of all drinkers consume about fifty percent of alcohol it’s clear that they’re targeting the most vulnerable of our young.
How do you suppose ordinary folks that don’t have the deep pockets of the alcohol industry can contend with this multi-billion-dollar bully pulpit? Have you ever heard the Texas Ranger creed? “No man in the wrong can stand up to a fellow in the right who keep on a –comin’.” Perhaps a corny saying from days done by, but this is just one example of what I refer to as “the advertising of everyday life.” We all know about this.
The advertising of everyday life is comprised of those homespun messages that parents and grandparents and other caregivers pass along to their children. Almost everyone can think of one or two from our growing up years. I believe that parents, and other caring adults, can be just as clever as Madison Avenue.
My mom was an antiques dealer known in the business as Antique Evelyn. She was a businesswoman first, but she loved collecting old signs and tins with interesting advertisements. When I was about 12-years-old Antique Evelyn brought home an old sign that read: None of us in our business or social life can coast along on a reputation of past performances. It’s the good job we do today that counts.
She framed the sign and placed it in a strategic place in the bathroom – just behind the toilet. This way my brother and I (and our dad) would come eye-to-eye with the sign several times a day, every day, year in and year out. According to my own calculations I zoomed in on that sign at least 5,000 times during my youth.
Coaches have slogans, preachers have sermons, teachers have lessons and my mom had signs. These are the advertisements of every day life. Some people might refer to this as imparting values. It is the collective commercials of everyday life that represent the “fellow in the right who keeps on “a-comin’,” a counterforce to the multi-billion-dollar bully and the rest of his gang.
Oh, and about mom’s sign; it is hangs in my office today.
Originally published in the Anton chain of newspapers, Long Island, New York.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
GORDIE AND 100 COLLEGE PRESIDENTS
GORDIE AND 100 COLLEGE PRESIDENTS
By Andrew Malekoff©
On September 17, 2004, Gordie Bailey, then an 18-year-old freshman at the University of Colorado, died of alcohol poisoning as a result of a fraternity initiation for pledges.
Now is the time of year that fraternities begin “rushing” or recruiting pledges. This begins with a phase of goodwill and backslapping. As each desirable prospect that is offered, accepts a formal invitation to become a part of a pledge class, a new group is formed that then enters a stage of initiation. I went through this as an undergraduate student at Rutgers College.
Fraternity Initiation and Hazing
Initiation activities and ceremonies in fraternities differ from fraternity house to fraternity house. They include a combination of learning about fraternity tradition, performing community service and, in some cases, being subjected to ritualistic harassment, abuse, or persecution, also known as hazing. Sometimes the latter involves excessive and binge drinking.
I was subjected to fairly benign and sophomoric hazing and mild humiliation such as standing on my head while pancake syrup was poured down my pant leg. I was ordered to do pushups when couldn’t recall a fraternity brother’s hometown or if I flubbed a fraternity song.
No one ever demanded that I consume any amount of alcohol as a part of the initiation ceremony. I am not sure what I would have done, had this been demanded of me. At the time the drinking age in New Jersey was 18, so legal implications were not a consideration.
One Hundred College Presidents
Just weeks before the fourth anniversary of Gordie’s death, a news report stated that over 100 presidents and chancellors from some of the nation’s leading universities are advocating for a reduction in the drinking age from 21 to 18, believing that this will reduce binge drinking. Not all agree.
University of Miami (Ohio) president David Hodge refused to sign on with this group, known as the Amethyst Initiative (www.amethystinitiative.org). In a September 5, 2008 interview with his school’s newspaper, President Hodge repudiated his colleagues asserting that more than half of the students entering college have already begun drinking illegally and he fears that lowering the drinking age to 18 would increase alcohol abuse in high schools.
Joseph A. Califano Jr., chairman of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, states that “Every year on college campuses 700,000 students are injured due to alcohol abuse, 1700 die as a result of alcohol abuse, and 22% meet the medical diagnostic criteria for alcohol or drug abuse or addiction.” What this means is that we have a major public health crisis on college campuses across the nation.
Is the answer to reduce the drinking age? I think not.
Missing the Boat
The one hundred-plus leaders of higher education who subscribe to the Amethyst Initiative are missing the boat. It is simply not enough for them to recite the hackneyed logic found on their website that says that if “adults under 21 are deemed capable of voting, signing contracts, serving on juries and enlisting in the military [they should be entitled] to have a beer.” This level of analysis will only contribute to increased profits for the alcohol industry at the expense of young people’s well being.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has analyzed numerous studies in states where the drinking age was boosted from 18 to 21 and found that increasing the drinking age significantly lessened harm and death among young people.
The Gordie Foundation
Since Gordie Bailey’s death, his family created the Gordie Foundation to provide young people with the skills to navigate the dangers of alcohol, binge drinking, peer pressure and hazing. The foundation’s website (http://www.gordie.org/) contains a video trailer for a motion picture entitled HAZE that is intended to confront this national health crisis that affects just about every campus in America.
If you have a child in college and particularly one who is a fraternity member or prospective pledge, tell them to go to this website and to watch the trailer, after you have viewed it yourself. It will only take five minutes. If you are a guidance counselor, preparing students for college, take a look. Then talk it over.
And, while you’re at it, drop an email or letter to the president or chancellor of your child’s school and send them the link.
This column was originally published in the Anton chain of Long Island, New York newspapers in September 2008
By Andrew Malekoff©
On September 17, 2004, Gordie Bailey, then an 18-year-old freshman at the University of Colorado, died of alcohol poisoning as a result of a fraternity initiation for pledges.
Now is the time of year that fraternities begin “rushing” or recruiting pledges. This begins with a phase of goodwill and backslapping. As each desirable prospect that is offered, accepts a formal invitation to become a part of a pledge class, a new group is formed that then enters a stage of initiation. I went through this as an undergraduate student at Rutgers College.
Fraternity Initiation and Hazing
Initiation activities and ceremonies in fraternities differ from fraternity house to fraternity house. They include a combination of learning about fraternity tradition, performing community service and, in some cases, being subjected to ritualistic harassment, abuse, or persecution, also known as hazing. Sometimes the latter involves excessive and binge drinking.
I was subjected to fairly benign and sophomoric hazing and mild humiliation such as standing on my head while pancake syrup was poured down my pant leg. I was ordered to do pushups when couldn’t recall a fraternity brother’s hometown or if I flubbed a fraternity song.
No one ever demanded that I consume any amount of alcohol as a part of the initiation ceremony. I am not sure what I would have done, had this been demanded of me. At the time the drinking age in New Jersey was 18, so legal implications were not a consideration.
One Hundred College Presidents
Just weeks before the fourth anniversary of Gordie’s death, a news report stated that over 100 presidents and chancellors from some of the nation’s leading universities are advocating for a reduction in the drinking age from 21 to 18, believing that this will reduce binge drinking. Not all agree.
University of Miami (Ohio) president David Hodge refused to sign on with this group, known as the Amethyst Initiative (www.amethystinitiative.org). In a September 5, 2008 interview with his school’s newspaper, President Hodge repudiated his colleagues asserting that more than half of the students entering college have already begun drinking illegally and he fears that lowering the drinking age to 18 would increase alcohol abuse in high schools.
Joseph A. Califano Jr., chairman of the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, states that “Every year on college campuses 700,000 students are injured due to alcohol abuse, 1700 die as a result of alcohol abuse, and 22% meet the medical diagnostic criteria for alcohol or drug abuse or addiction.” What this means is that we have a major public health crisis on college campuses across the nation.
Is the answer to reduce the drinking age? I think not.
Missing the Boat
The one hundred-plus leaders of higher education who subscribe to the Amethyst Initiative are missing the boat. It is simply not enough for them to recite the hackneyed logic found on their website that says that if “adults under 21 are deemed capable of voting, signing contracts, serving on juries and enlisting in the military [they should be entitled] to have a beer.” This level of analysis will only contribute to increased profits for the alcohol industry at the expense of young people’s well being.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has analyzed numerous studies in states where the drinking age was boosted from 18 to 21 and found that increasing the drinking age significantly lessened harm and death among young people.
The Gordie Foundation
Since Gordie Bailey’s death, his family created the Gordie Foundation to provide young people with the skills to navigate the dangers of alcohol, binge drinking, peer pressure and hazing. The foundation’s website (http://www.gordie.org/) contains a video trailer for a motion picture entitled HAZE that is intended to confront this national health crisis that affects just about every campus in America.
If you have a child in college and particularly one who is a fraternity member or prospective pledge, tell them to go to this website and to watch the trailer, after you have viewed it yourself. It will only take five minutes. If you are a guidance counselor, preparing students for college, take a look. Then talk it over.
And, while you’re at it, drop an email or letter to the president or chancellor of your child’s school and send them the link.
This column was originally published in the Anton chain of Long Island, New York newspapers in September 2008
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
KATIE'S LAW AND NEIL'S VOICE
Katie's Law and Neil's Voice
by Andrew Malekoff©
Sitting on my desk in my home in Long Beach since early March 2007 are published excerpts of the impact statements made by seven-year-old Katie Flynn’s family before the sentencing of a 25-year-old drunken driver who was convicted of killing her and Stanley Rabinowitz in July 2005. Time and time again I find myself going back to the statement of Katie’s dad, Neil Flynn.
"I have learned that fatherhood is the greatest endeavor a man can undertake. My children are the central focus of my existence. They justify my life. Without them I would be nothing."
On June 21, 2007 the New York State Assembly unanimously passed a bill that was co-sponsored by state Assemblyman Harvey Weisenberg and state Senator Charles Fuschillo that makes aggravated vehicular homicide a crime. This crime may be charged when a death is caused by a drunken driver and that includes additional death or serious injury, a previous conviction of driving under the influence, a blood-alcohol content of 0.18 or more and driving with a suspended license.
"From my first waking moments my thoughts are dominated by sadness, grief and anxiety. At least three times a day I am overwhelmed by grief and break down in tears despite the fact that I am on two powerful anti-depressants. I frequently cry in front of my children, which is extremely painful to me and damaging to them."
The first thing I did after reading about the law was to talk to my two sons, ages 18 and 22. I told them, “Boys, we have had this discussion before, but please make sure that under no circumstances do you drink and drive. Not after a party or if you go to a wedding or affair of any kind as you get older. Just don't do it! It is not worth it. I am sorry to lecture you and to be so serious, but I love you and want you to be safe and not make a fatal and life changing mistake. The new law won't stop everybody from drinking and driving, but it could prevent many everyday people who make this mistake from killing someone and then getting sentenced to long and hard years in prison.”
"My sleep is punctuated by nightmares and I wake often. I rarely dream of Katie alive. I have done so only three times since her death. Although waking from these dreams is incredibly painful, I wish I had them more often. I wake after three or four hours and stare aimlessly at pointless television shows. I drift back to sleep in the early morning for a few more fitful hours before starting the cycle again."
Once this column is printed I will give it to my sons. I want them to put my “lecture” into context and to know that beyond the severe penalties that the new law brings that there is a father’s anguish. I want them to hear Neil Flynn.
"I do not know joy. I have no hope for a better future here on earth…I cannot overcome my sadness. I am desolate."
I hope that the new law will serve as a deterrent for my sons. More than that, though, I want them to think not only of Katie’s Law but to also hear Neil’s Voice.
And, although we have never met I want Neil Flynn to know, father to father, how sorry I am for his devastating loss and how thankful I am to him for opening his soul so that others may be saved.
Originally published in Long Island, New York's Anton Newspapers
by Andrew Malekoff©
Sitting on my desk in my home in Long Beach since early March 2007 are published excerpts of the impact statements made by seven-year-old Katie Flynn’s family before the sentencing of a 25-year-old drunken driver who was convicted of killing her and Stanley Rabinowitz in July 2005. Time and time again I find myself going back to the statement of Katie’s dad, Neil Flynn.
"I have learned that fatherhood is the greatest endeavor a man can undertake. My children are the central focus of my existence. They justify my life. Without them I would be nothing."
On June 21, 2007 the New York State Assembly unanimously passed a bill that was co-sponsored by state Assemblyman Harvey Weisenberg and state Senator Charles Fuschillo that makes aggravated vehicular homicide a crime. This crime may be charged when a death is caused by a drunken driver and that includes additional death or serious injury, a previous conviction of driving under the influence, a blood-alcohol content of 0.18 or more and driving with a suspended license.
"From my first waking moments my thoughts are dominated by sadness, grief and anxiety. At least three times a day I am overwhelmed by grief and break down in tears despite the fact that I am on two powerful anti-depressants. I frequently cry in front of my children, which is extremely painful to me and damaging to them."
The first thing I did after reading about the law was to talk to my two sons, ages 18 and 22. I told them, “Boys, we have had this discussion before, but please make sure that under no circumstances do you drink and drive. Not after a party or if you go to a wedding or affair of any kind as you get older. Just don't do it! It is not worth it. I am sorry to lecture you and to be so serious, but I love you and want you to be safe and not make a fatal and life changing mistake. The new law won't stop everybody from drinking and driving, but it could prevent many everyday people who make this mistake from killing someone and then getting sentenced to long and hard years in prison.”
"My sleep is punctuated by nightmares and I wake often. I rarely dream of Katie alive. I have done so only three times since her death. Although waking from these dreams is incredibly painful, I wish I had them more often. I wake after three or four hours and stare aimlessly at pointless television shows. I drift back to sleep in the early morning for a few more fitful hours before starting the cycle again."
Once this column is printed I will give it to my sons. I want them to put my “lecture” into context and to know that beyond the severe penalties that the new law brings that there is a father’s anguish. I want them to hear Neil Flynn.
"I do not know joy. I have no hope for a better future here on earth…I cannot overcome my sadness. I am desolate."
I hope that the new law will serve as a deterrent for my sons. More than that, though, I want them to think not only of Katie’s Law but to also hear Neil’s Voice.
And, although we have never met I want Neil Flynn to know, father to father, how sorry I am for his devastating loss and how thankful I am to him for opening his soul so that others may be saved.
Originally published in Long Island, New York's Anton Newspapers
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