When a Child Refuses to Go to School
Andrew Malekoff © 2011
Twenty-eight percent of children across the United States refuse to go to school at some time during their school years. In a recent survey of new applications at North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, we found increasing numbers of children who refused to go to school. This was further validated at a meeting that the Guidance Center hosted for counselors, social workers and psychologists from public and private schools throughout Nassau County.
School-refusal behavior is identified, according to the NYU Child Study Center, in boys and girls from 5-17 who: (1) are entirely absent from school, and/or; (2) attend school initially, but leave during the course of the school day, and/or; (3) go to school following crying, clinging, tantrums or other intense behavior problems, and/or (4) exhibit unusual distress during school days and then plead for future absenteeism.
Naturally, the meeting with local school personnel led to speculation on what causes children to refuse to go to school. To no one’s surprise, bullying topped the list. Nevertheless, although bullying is one cause, other issues such as a transition from one school to another; an illness or death in the family; or school-performance problems, also trigger school refusal.
A few things to consider when school-refusal is a problem in your home:
1. Do your best to get your child to school every day. The more a child is allowed to stay home, the harder it will be to get him or her out of the house;
2. You may think that your child is not being honest about feeling poorly in the morning. Try to remember that anxiety can lead to physical symptoms like aches and pains or nausea;
3. Talk to your child and school personnel to see if you can discover what is leading to his or her avoidance of school. It could be bullying or academic problems or social isolation and trouble making friends;
4. Consider consulting with a school guidance, social work or community-based mental health counselor, especially if every morning is a battle; and
5. If there are troubles at home, like a divorce, death in the family, new sibling, or a recent relocation, don’t ignore them. Family therapy can help to sort things out and increase your child’s ability to cope with difficult changes in his or her life.
School-refusal is an issue that we deal with frequently at North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center. Adults – parents, teachers, counselors, coaches – must work together in trying to understand the underlying causes and triggers for a child’s school-avoidance behavior.
By working together – school, community and family - we can be successful in helping fearful or anxious young people to overcome of school-avoidance problems and help them to and return to school and learn, socialize and move forward in their lives.
This column was printed in the Long Island Anton chain of newspapers in April 2011.
Showing posts with label maternal depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label maternal depression. Show all posts
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Saturday, February 12, 2011
BRUTAL TEENS ON LONG ISLAND
Brutal Teens on Long Island
by Andrew Malekoff© February 2011
The title of this month’s column is likely to evoke associations of murder and mayhem. However, don’t be misled; this is not a tale of teens gone bad. It is about our winter of discontent. And, I am not talking about NIFA taking over Nassau County’s finances.
So why the title, you may be wondering. It all started with a series of annoying television messages scrolling across the bottom of the screen. One of them read “…brutal teens on Long Island.” It was a partial message that required the viewer’s waiting for the next scroll-go-round to get more details.
I anticipated reading a horror story about violent or victimized teen-agers. But, when the script scrolled back around, the story flipped and the full message read: “Temperature reaches brutal teens on Long Island.”
So, don’t go any further if you were expecting to read about stabbings, shootings or lunchroom riots. But, do read on if you are interested in spending a few minutes reflecting on our record-breaking Long Island winter.
Let us begin with a psychological phenomenon known as seasonal affective disorder, which is appropriately known as SAD. This is a more serious problem than ordinary “winter blahs” or “cabin fever.” SAD only occurs during the winter and is characterized by depression; decreased energy and concentration; carbohydrate or sugar cravings; decreased interest in work or other activities; increased appetite and sleep; excessive weight gain, and social withdrawal. Although you can seek counseling for SAD or hook up one of those special lamps to mimic sunlight, the good news is that SAD symptoms commonly get better with a change of seasons.
But that’s enough psychobabble from me. This winter stinks! I have never experienced such consistent snowfall in my life. If I wanted to live among the flakes I would have moved to Vermont or Colorado (or to L.A. for the other kind). I don’t dislike snow. It is pretty. I admire the beauty of snow-covered trees on the Taconic and mountains on the New York Thruway as much as the next guy. It makes me happy to see kids sledding, skating, building snowmen, having snowball fights and shoveling snow to make some fast cash - all things that I loved to do as a kid.
On second thought, maybe the extreme snowfall this winter is not so bad. After all, we are all in the same boat. Rather than isolation and withdrawal, excessive snow accumulation and the inconvenience and hardship it creates encourages a sense of community. We commiserated with one another about our cars being plowed in, icy walkways and roads, broken wrists and dented vehicles and, in time, the filthy soot-covered mountains and roadside ridges of snow.
Snow brings us together as a people. We help one another dig out, we lend a hand to frail and elderly neighbors by cleaning their walks and we greet red-faced youngsters with dripping noses with cups of hot cocoa after they spend a pleasurable day of frolicking with friends in the snow. I guess this has been a really joyous winter, after all.
Not!
Published in the Anton Newspaper chain of 18 Long Island newspapers, in February 2011.
by Andrew Malekoff© February 2011
The title of this month’s column is likely to evoke associations of murder and mayhem. However, don’t be misled; this is not a tale of teens gone bad. It is about our winter of discontent. And, I am not talking about NIFA taking over Nassau County’s finances.
So why the title, you may be wondering. It all started with a series of annoying television messages scrolling across the bottom of the screen. One of them read “…brutal teens on Long Island.” It was a partial message that required the viewer’s waiting for the next scroll-go-round to get more details.
I anticipated reading a horror story about violent or victimized teen-agers. But, when the script scrolled back around, the story flipped and the full message read: “Temperature reaches brutal teens on Long Island.”
So, don’t go any further if you were expecting to read about stabbings, shootings or lunchroom riots. But, do read on if you are interested in spending a few minutes reflecting on our record-breaking Long Island winter.
Let us begin with a psychological phenomenon known as seasonal affective disorder, which is appropriately known as SAD. This is a more serious problem than ordinary “winter blahs” or “cabin fever.” SAD only occurs during the winter and is characterized by depression; decreased energy and concentration; carbohydrate or sugar cravings; decreased interest in work or other activities; increased appetite and sleep; excessive weight gain, and social withdrawal. Although you can seek counseling for SAD or hook up one of those special lamps to mimic sunlight, the good news is that SAD symptoms commonly get better with a change of seasons.
But that’s enough psychobabble from me. This winter stinks! I have never experienced such consistent snowfall in my life. If I wanted to live among the flakes I would have moved to Vermont or Colorado (or to L.A. for the other kind). I don’t dislike snow. It is pretty. I admire the beauty of snow-covered trees on the Taconic and mountains on the New York Thruway as much as the next guy. It makes me happy to see kids sledding, skating, building snowmen, having snowball fights and shoveling snow to make some fast cash - all things that I loved to do as a kid.
On second thought, maybe the extreme snowfall this winter is not so bad. After all, we are all in the same boat. Rather than isolation and withdrawal, excessive snow accumulation and the inconvenience and hardship it creates encourages a sense of community. We commiserated with one another about our cars being plowed in, icy walkways and roads, broken wrists and dented vehicles and, in time, the filthy soot-covered mountains and roadside ridges of snow.
Snow brings us together as a people. We help one another dig out, we lend a hand to frail and elderly neighbors by cleaning their walks and we greet red-faced youngsters with dripping noses with cups of hot cocoa after they spend a pleasurable day of frolicking with friends in the snow. I guess this has been a really joyous winter, after all.
Not!
Published in the Anton Newspaper chain of 18 Long Island newspapers, in February 2011.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
"SINCE YOUR NEW BABY WAS BORN, HOW OFTEN HAVE YOU FELT HOPELESS"
“Since your new baby was born, how often have you felt hopeless?”
By Andrew Malekoff©
Care to venture a guess as to what grade level of student has the highest rate of expulsion from school because of problematic behavior? Let’s see how you did.
According to a research study at Yale University, led by Dr. Walter Gilliam, the rate of expulsion in pre-kindergarten programs serving three- and four-year-olds is more than three times that of children in grades K through 12. According to Dr. Gilliam the study did not explore reasons why the children were expelled, "We weren't measuring behavioral problems, we were measuring the decisions teachers make." So, we are left to speculate and to study the risks that pre-school children face that contribute to this astounding statistic.
Early childhood mental health expert Jane Knitzer offers a clue when she tells us that “research indicates that babies whose mothers are depressed…may ‘act out’ in early childhood programs, and sometimes be ejected from them.” At the Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center (RFTS), a division of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, we know that the emotional health of a parent influences a child’s development. In a survey we found that over 60% of families of 147 recent admissions reported serious behavior problems in children as young as 2 years of age. A review of the histories of these families found between 50 and 75% of the children were living with a depressed parent, most often a mom with a history of depression.
Sandra Radzanower Wolkoff, RFTS director, advises that we need to pay attention not only to maternal depression, but to the mood disorders that accompany childbirth and that are often an unexpected complication of pregnancy. Although we are not always sure of the causes for onset, what we do know according Wolkoff, is that “danger lies in how they incapacitate mothers, frighten fathers, and embroil infants.”
One young mother who is recovering from post-partum depression at RFTS recently told a rapt audience at a North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center event at the Glen Head Country Club, about how she could barely lift her head off of her pillow, let alone lift and hold and cuddle and care for her baby.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that postpartum depression affects up to 20% of mothers within the first year after giving birth. The rate of depression for mothers living in poverty is close to a staggering 50%. Mental health experts agree that constancy of relationship from early childhood is the single best predictor of positive outcomes in later life. Promoting safe and warm relationships with parents and other caregivers is key to young children’s healthy development and later success in school and beyond. Maternal depression, left untreated, may be a key factor leading to the expulsion of pre-schoolers.
According to Wolkoff, “Depressed mothers tend to perceive their children as being more difficult, frequently viewing their children more negatively. Mothers who are suffering from depression can respond with too little emotion or energy, or overreact with aggression and irritability. The origin of this inconsistency in parenting is not a lack of desire. Rather, it is consequence of utter exhaustion.”
The Center on Disease Control in Atlanta administered a surveillance project aimed at identifying maternal depression early on. Two questions that they asked moms are: 1) Since your new baby was born, how often have you felt down, depressed, or hopeless? and 2) Since your new baby was born, how often have you had little interest or little pleasure in doing things? The women who answered "often" or "always" to either question were classified as experiencing self-reported post-partum depressive symptoms. Detecting the problem is the first step in getting moms and their families the help they need.
We must encourage primary care physicians and other health professionals to incorporate these questions into their encounters with pregnant women and mothers of infants. If you are reading this clip it, highlight these two questions and pass it along it to your local pediatrician, obstetrician and gynecologist or pediatric hospital unit. Add a personal note. Who knows, maybe it will keep one more child from being expelled.
Children grow best when they feel safe and are safe. Healthy attachments are not about children getting what they want, but getting what they need—the assurance that an adult caregiver is by their side, looking out for them, teaching them how to manage their own feelings, and learning about the give and take of relationships. All children deserve this. Let’s take a small step to make sure they get it.
Originally published in the Anton Newspapers, Long Island, New York, July 2008
By Andrew Malekoff©
Care to venture a guess as to what grade level of student has the highest rate of expulsion from school because of problematic behavior? Let’s see how you did.
According to a research study at Yale University, led by Dr. Walter Gilliam, the rate of expulsion in pre-kindergarten programs serving three- and four-year-olds is more than three times that of children in grades K through 12. According to Dr. Gilliam the study did not explore reasons why the children were expelled, "We weren't measuring behavioral problems, we were measuring the decisions teachers make." So, we are left to speculate and to study the risks that pre-school children face that contribute to this astounding statistic.
Early childhood mental health expert Jane Knitzer offers a clue when she tells us that “research indicates that babies whose mothers are depressed…may ‘act out’ in early childhood programs, and sometimes be ejected from them.” At the Marks Family Right from the Start 0-3+ Center (RFTS), a division of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, we know that the emotional health of a parent influences a child’s development. In a survey we found that over 60% of families of 147 recent admissions reported serious behavior problems in children as young as 2 years of age. A review of the histories of these families found between 50 and 75% of the children were living with a depressed parent, most often a mom with a history of depression.
Sandra Radzanower Wolkoff, RFTS director, advises that we need to pay attention not only to maternal depression, but to the mood disorders that accompany childbirth and that are often an unexpected complication of pregnancy. Although we are not always sure of the causes for onset, what we do know according Wolkoff, is that “danger lies in how they incapacitate mothers, frighten fathers, and embroil infants.”
One young mother who is recovering from post-partum depression at RFTS recently told a rapt audience at a North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center event at the Glen Head Country Club, about how she could barely lift her head off of her pillow, let alone lift and hold and cuddle and care for her baby.
The Center for Disease Control (CDC) reports that postpartum depression affects up to 20% of mothers within the first year after giving birth. The rate of depression for mothers living in poverty is close to a staggering 50%. Mental health experts agree that constancy of relationship from early childhood is the single best predictor of positive outcomes in later life. Promoting safe and warm relationships with parents and other caregivers is key to young children’s healthy development and later success in school and beyond. Maternal depression, left untreated, may be a key factor leading to the expulsion of pre-schoolers.
According to Wolkoff, “Depressed mothers tend to perceive their children as being more difficult, frequently viewing their children more negatively. Mothers who are suffering from depression can respond with too little emotion or energy, or overreact with aggression and irritability. The origin of this inconsistency in parenting is not a lack of desire. Rather, it is consequence of utter exhaustion.”
The Center on Disease Control in Atlanta administered a surveillance project aimed at identifying maternal depression early on. Two questions that they asked moms are: 1) Since your new baby was born, how often have you felt down, depressed, or hopeless? and 2) Since your new baby was born, how often have you had little interest or little pleasure in doing things? The women who answered "often" or "always" to either question were classified as experiencing self-reported post-partum depressive symptoms. Detecting the problem is the first step in getting moms and their families the help they need.
We must encourage primary care physicians and other health professionals to incorporate these questions into their encounters with pregnant women and mothers of infants. If you are reading this clip it, highlight these two questions and pass it along it to your local pediatrician, obstetrician and gynecologist or pediatric hospital unit. Add a personal note. Who knows, maybe it will keep one more child from being expelled.
Children grow best when they feel safe and are safe. Healthy attachments are not about children getting what they want, but getting what they need—the assurance that an adult caregiver is by their side, looking out for them, teaching them how to manage their own feelings, and learning about the give and take of relationships. All children deserve this. Let’s take a small step to make sure they get it.
Originally published in the Anton Newspapers, Long Island, New York, July 2008
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