Friday, December 25, 2009

BUILDING COMMUNITIES OF CARE

BUILDING COMMUNITIES OF CARE

By Andrew Malekoff©

What do the following have in common? Asthma, Cancer, Crohn's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Degenerative Disc Disease, End Stage Renal Disease, Hepatitis C, Hypoglycemia, Idiopathic Dilated Cardiomyopathy, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, Leg-Calvé-Perthes, Marfan Syndrome, Multiple Sclerosis, Migraines, Polycystic Kidney Disease, Scoliosis and Supraventricular Tachycardia.

If you guessed that they were all physical illnesses you are correct. However, another common thread is they are illnesses that a group of young people in the radical-alternative DIY (do-it-yourself) community have been diagnosed with and have written about (along with a few young people that care about them) in a publication entitled Sick, a compilation zine on physical illness.

For the uninitiated, a zine (derived from magazine) is a topical publication typically intended for an alternative or underground audience. A zine tends to include written and visual work aimed at promoting and supporting a social movement. DIY represents an ideal or value for many young people who associate themselves with the punk subculture.

One contributor, Luci, speaks for her fellow contributors when she asks, "How can a disabled person find allies and support?" This book will help supporters and supportees to find some answers, insight and inspiration.

Among the moving narratives in SICK is a love story entitled “Scar Mates” by Rainbow, who has been diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. After being rejected by one young suitor who could not deal with the scars left behind after Rainbow’s open heart surgery and kidney transplant, she fell in love with a young man that she met on-line, who has been diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis and Diabetes.

Along with providing poignant first-hand accounts of living with physical illness and chronic disease, many of the authors offer practical advice for young people struggling with these ailments, as well as suggestions for friends and family members that care about them. For example, the authors advise patients to be kind and understanding about themselves and to ask for what they need.

There are also useful tips for friends and family members. In a piece entitled, “Illness and support,” Ben Holtzman says that people with illness do want to talk about it. He says that saying something small is almost always better than saying nothing at all. The practical advice contained in the collection might be dubbed as uncommon common sense because, although it seems very basic, it is the kind of advice that requires gentle prodding and encouragement to carry it out.

Beyond practical tips, there is great wisdom sprinkled throughout. For example, Emily Klamer, a student, writer and activist from Missouri, who is living with degenerative disc disease, writes elegantly about the “lurking threat” of illness that we all face sooner or later.

SICK editor and essayist Ben Holtzman, who was diagnosed with cancer at age 26, introduces the collection by stating that, "Illness is considered taboo; it's seen by many as awkward, if not depressing, to bring up...The collective strength of these pieces...is meant to further... action toward building communities of care."

The stories are gritty, no-holds-barred, first-hand accounts of what it is like to live and cope with physical illness and chronic disease, including the struggle to get and then find one’s way through the maze that is health insurance. By openly revealing what it feels like to be young and sick, the authors - mostly young women - go a long way towards supporting Holtzman's vision.

Hospitals and physicians would do well to have this publication, and ones like it, available as resources for young people with physical illnesses and their friends and family members. Giving voice to what it is like to suffer in silence, is a way that these young DIY authors have extended the bonds of belonging to create true communities of care.

Write to illnesszine@gmail.com if you are interested in learning more about building communities of care.

Published in the Anton newspapers on Long Island, NY in December 2009.

Monday, November 9, 2009

LONG ISLAND BUSINESS NEWS ON CHILDREN'S MENTAL HEALTH

Long Island Business News

Pushing for parity

Commentary by Andrew Malekoff

Published: November 2, 2009, page 20A

More low income and middle-class families than ever before are in need of low cost, high quality community-based mental health care. Yet, the New York State Office of Mental Health is implementing a plan that will result in a system of community care where only those children and families with Medicaid “fee for service” insurance coverage will be assured ongoing access to these critical services. At the same time, Gov. Paterson has proposed cutting local assistance dollars for behavioral health services.

The erosion of local assistance funding in conjunction with clinic reform is the perfect storm for the destruction of children’s community-based mental health services on Long Island. There will be no real cost savings left in the wake of this storm, only the incalculable cost of young lives being lost and set adrift, and families being splintered and destroyed.

A once proud community-based mental health care system that was “for one and for all” is being systematically deconstructed into a depleted “Medicaid-only, others need not apply” delivery system.

New York state has a statutory responsibility to make sure that its most vulnerable citizens – our children – get care regardless of their families’ economic status. Instead, what we are getting is institutionalized classism that cuts the middle class and working poor out of the behavioral health equation. Despite rhetoric to the contrary, the new Federal Mental Health Parity Act will not help.

Offering unlimited clinic visits at substandard rates is not parity, but rather a barrier that denies access to the middle class and working poor. Commercial insurers that cannot demonstrate an adequacy of network for behavioral health care should have their licenses revoked by the State Department of Insurance.

Community clinics have always been a mainstay in addressing the needs of children and adolescents with serious emotional disturbances and their families. Private psychotherapists and counselors, with rare exception, cannot afford to offer the labor-intensive work necessary to properly serve families that are struggling with serious emotional disturbances.

I call on New York State, in conjunction with local governments, to restore and enhance rather than slash local assistance funding – a partnership between local and state government, the local community and the client-consumer. Action must to be taken now to reverse the course of clinic reform and to preserve local assistance funding before it is too late.

Andrew Malekoff is executive director and chief executive of North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, in Roslyn Heights.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

TESTIMONY ON GOVERNOR PATERSON'S PROPOSED BUDGET CUTS TO HUMAN SERVICES

New York State Hearing on Governor Paterson’s Proposed Budget Cuts
Brookhaven Town Hall Auditorium
Farmingville, New York
Testimony by Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director / CEO
North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center
480 Old Westbury Road
Roslyn Heights, New York 11577

Representing the Long Island Coalition of Behavioral Health Providers, Inc.
400 Garden City Plaza – Suite 202
Garden City, NY 11530

October 27, 2009
Good afternoon senators. My name is Andrew Malekoff and I am the executive director and CEO for North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center in Roslyn Heights, New York. I am here representing the Long Island Coalition of Behavioral Health Providers.

More low income and middle-class families than ever before are in need of low cost, high quality community-based mental health care. Yet, the New York State Office of Mental Health is implementing a plan for these critical services that will result in a system of community care where only those children and families with Medicaid “fee for service” insurance coverage will be assured ongoing access to care. At the same time, Governor Paterson has proposed cutting local assistance dollars for behavioral health services.

The erosion of local assistance funding in conjunction with the march towards clinic reform is the perfect storm for the destruction of children’s community-based mental health services on Long Island. There will be no real cost savings left in the wake of this storm; only the incalculable cost of young lives being lost and set adrift, and families being splintered and destroyed.

For more than half a century North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center has been a proud provider of community-based mental health services on Long Island. The lethal mix of clinic reform and decades of diminished local assistance dollars portends a mental health delivery system that will no longer assure access to mental health care for children regardless of their parents’ ability to pay.

A once proud community-based mental health care system that was “for one and for all” is being systematically deconstructed into a depleted “Medicaid-only, others need not apply” delivery system.

New York State has a statutory responsibility to make sure that its most vulnerable citizens, our children, get care regardless of their families’ economic status. Instead, what we are getting is institutionalized classism that cuts the middle class and working poor out of the behavioral health equation.

Many children with what seems like ample health insurance coverage will no longer receive behavioral healthcare services from community clinics as a result of the lack of parity between government (Medicaid) rates and rates paid by commercial insurers for behavioral health care. And, despite rhetoric to the contrary, the new Federal Mental Health Parity Act will not help. Offering unlimited clinic visits at substandard rates is not parity, but rather a barrier that denies access to the middle class and working poor. Commercial insurers that cannot demonstrate an adequacy of network for behavioral health care should have their licenses revoked by the State Department of Insurance.

Community clinics have always been a mainstay in addressing the needs of children and adolescents with serious emotional disturbances and their families. Private psychotherapists and counselors, with rare exception, cannot and afford to offer the labor intensive work necessary to properly serve families that are struggling with serious emotional disturbances.

We call on New York State, in conjunction with local government, to restore and enhance rather than slash local assistance funding – a partnership between local and state government, the local community and client-consumer. Action must to be taken now to reverse the course of clinic reform and to preserve local assistance funding before it is too late.

Thank you, senators, for holding this hearing and for giving me the opportunity to testify before the committee.

Andrew Malekoff is executive director and chief executive officer for North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, Roslyn Heights, New York email: amalekoff@northshorechildguidance.org

DENTALLY CHALLENGED

DENTALLY CHALLENGED

By Andrew Malekoff©

A few months ago there was a news report about a guy from upstate New York that was accused of practicing dentistry without a license. The report stated that he operated in his kitchen. In lieu of Novocain he offered his patients a slug of wine to help them through the pain. The story brought back a flood of memories from my childhood. One was a traumatic episode that I re-live to this day every time I sit in a dentist’s chair.

Our family dentist, a family friend, reminded me of the actor Peter Lorre. If you are too young to recall him, Peter Lorre was an Austrian-American actor that often played alongside Humphrey Bogart and was typecast as a creepy, sinister foreigner.

Summer Camp

As a pre-teen in New Jersey many of my friends went away to upstate summer camps in “the mountains.” For me, summer days could be fun or long and boring. I stayed at home and spent my summers at area swimming pools and playgrounds or watching baseball games on television. Except, that is, for one summer in the early 1960’s. My mom asked me if I’d like to go to sleep away camp for a month. I was ecstatic for the opportunity and said, “Yes!”

Along with the news about going away, were sudden car trips to the doctor for a physical exam and a series of shots, and to the dentist to get my teeth checked out. I passed the physical with flying colors and took the shots in stride. I didn't do so well with the dentist. On the car ride home mom told me that I needed sixteen fillings. Sixteen! Since camp was only a few days away she said that I had to get all of the fillings at one time. An appointment was set for the next Friday night at eight-o’clock.

Sitting Down

The dentist’s office was in his house and adjacent to his kitchen where my mom sat from 8 pm to 12 am drinking coffee and chatting with his wife. He did not give me Novocain, which was consistent with my other visits. In-between drillings and fillings Peter Lorre slithered away through a door that led to the kitchen, maybe for a slug of wine reserved for adult patients, while I sat quietly waiting for the next assault. I was stoic. I didn’t complain or shed a tear all night.

I discovered that I could endure lots of pain, and hide it well, on that warm summer night. When we left I didn’t say anything about it to mom or to anyone else.

My only four weeks at sleep away camp were fun. What I remember most though, like it was yesterday, were the four hours in the dentist’s chair.

Standing Up

I recently found a website dedicated to “dental horror stories.” One was written by someone much younger that me, who said that his dentist was always in a rush. One time when he was a kid, he said, the dentist started drilling about 30 seconds after he shot him up with Novocain and before he was numb. He said, “I grabbed him by the wrist and told him to stop.”

He left in a huff and came back five minutes later to finish the job when he was fully numb. Nevertheless, he “fired” the dentist after the encounter, despite the fact that he had a close association with his family. His parents were very upset that he refused to see that dentist again. “I didn’t care,” he said, “he acted like a jerk, and I wasn’t going to stand for it!”

Good for him and for all kids (and others) today that are willing to stand up to authority in the right way and at the right time. Good for you!

This column originally appeared in the Anton newspaper chain on Long Island, New York, October 28, 2009.

Friday, September 25, 2009

THERE ARE JUST NO WORDS

THERE ARE JUST NO WORDS

By Andrew Malekoff©

Almost a year ago, Marcelo Lucero, an Ecuadorean immigrant, was murdered allegedly by a group of high school boys on a hate-crime spree. Shortly after the murder I was invited to participate as one of six panelists in an online forum sponsored by Newsday.

The panel addressed a number of themes - exposure to prejudice, bigotry and discrimination, the role of the schools and bridging communication gaps. The final theme of the forum was “confronting authority.” This was presented by the editors as follows: “…there are growing suspicions that government institutions have played a major role in perpetuating racial tensions. New allegations that have surfaced since Lucero's death suggest that inadequate attention has been given to patterns of hate-driven violence. Add to that the intensifying trend in law enforcement toward criminalizing and cracking down on illegal immigration. How do community members deal with racism and hate crime when law enforcement and other authorities are seen as complicit in the oppression and violence?”

As I considered this, no prescriptive response came to mind. Instead, a troubling image was jarred loose within me. The image is of a black-and-white photograph that appears on the jacket of a book I read entitled Sons of Mississippi, by Paul Hendrickson. The book is based on that single photograph. It depicts a close-knit gathering of seven Mississippi sheriffs at the University of Mississippi prior to the admission of its first black student James Meredith in 1962. One of the sheriffs is brandishing an axe handle, to the obvious delight of the others. They are anticipating and evidently preparing to participate in the upheaval to come as James Meredith prepares to integrate the University of Mississippi.

Hendrickson’s narrative is culled from interviews, research of documents and literature about the era. Most compelling are his interviews with the sheriffs’ sons and grandsons and with Meredith's son, Joe, regarding their experiences with racism.

Thinking about that photograph makes me wonder about how, 40 years from now, the children of the Long Island law enforcement and other government officials that have, in some cases, turned a blind eye to hate-driven violence or even encouraged it, will look back at the November 9, 2008 murder of Marcelo Lucero. Also how will children and grandchildren of Lucero’s contemporaries view it.

Near the end of the book Hendrickson offers readers one final perspective on the chilling photo of the sheriffs. He quotes the poet and art critic Mark Strand, who reflects on the paintings of Edward Hopper. Strand says, "The shadow of dark hangs over them, making whatever narratives we construct around them seem sentimental and beside the point." This describes precisely how I feel about the murder of Marcelo Lucero as I visualize a photograph taken almost one year ago of seven teen-aged boys from Patchogue, New York in white jumpsuits and handcuffs.

Sometimes there are just no words.

First published in the Anton Newspaper chain on Long Island, New York on September 23, 2009.

Friday, August 28, 2009

PROJECT REBIRTH

PROJECT REBIRTH

By Andrew Malekoff©

In the immediate aftermath of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack on America, several artists joined together to produce a soft cover book entitled 9/11: Artists Respond. The book of graphic art showcases the artists’ responses to the terror that befell the world. One nine-frame piece by Jeph Loeb and Scott Campbell entitled “Please Stand By…” features a girl of about eight years of age watching cartoons on television. By the third and fourth frames, the image on the screen changes to a live feed of the Twin Towers ablaze. As the little girl stands transfixed, stuffed animal in hand and her face less than 12 inches from the screen, the commentator announces, “We interrupt this program to take you live…” the little girl turns away and calls, “Mommy…” The next three frames show her mother dropping a basket of laundry. Then, with her face contorted in anguish, the mother embraces her daughter to shield her from the unrelenting images. The final frame is a close-up of the little girl asking, “Mommy, when are the cartoons gonna come back on?”

Recently I had the opportunity of viewing another set of images in the form of a moving 30-minute preview of a feature-length documentary film by filmmaker Jim Whitaker that captures rebuilding of the World Trade Center (WTC) and nine people coping with 9/11. Whitaker, who was visiting New York City to attend a wedding at the time of the terrorist attack, is the founder of Project Rebirth, a non-profit initiative aiming to chronicle living history and honor 9/11 victims and first responders.

The film introduces us to a diverse group of nine people, all of whom were impacted by 9 / 11 and agreed to participate in a series of interviews conducted by Whitaker during following years. These individuals include:

• A survivor from an impact floor on the South Tower
• A NYPD officer who oversaw recovery efforts at the Fresh Kills Landfill
• A fireman that survived the collapse of the Towers, but lost his best friend in addition to 343 fellow firefighters
• A teenage boy who lost his mother
• A young woman who lost her fiancĂ©
• A construction worker who lost his brother and assisted with recovery efforts
• A Muslim American woman who became an advocate for religious tolerance
• A volunteer in the recovery effort who later assisted hurricane Katrina survivors
• A man who lost his domestic partner of 14 years and then moved to the West Coast

They generously offer us, and future generations no doubt, the intimate gift of their unfolding grief and resiliency in the face of disaster.

The film is scheduled for release in 2010. In addition to preserving history through this personal record of the long-term grieving process, it is the aim of this film to capture the rebuilding of the World Trade Center. This is accomplished through the use of 12 time-lapse cameras recording 24/7 at the WTC site.

It is the mission of Project Rebirth, beyond creating the documentary, to educate and inform students and future generations, and to help support victims of and first responders to major disasters. A Project Rebirth Center will be developed to integrate and improve on therapeutic, educational and training resources focused on grief and trauma suffered by victims and first responders to major disasters.

I am not sure whether Project Rebirth answers the little girl’s question of, “when are the cartoons gonna come back on?” But I am certain that this astounding work of art will go a long way toward helping survivors and responders of disasters to find their ways out of the darkness.

For more information visit the Project Rebirth website at www.projectrebirth.org.

Originally printed in the Anton Newspapers on Long Island on August 27, 2009.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

REFORM PLAN LEAVES CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS BEHIND

REFORM PLAN LEAVES CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS BEHIND

By Ronda Fein, PhD

First published: Saturday, August 8, 2009, Albany Times Union

In his very articulate July 27 commentary, "It's not reform when it hurts the poor," Andrew Malekoff expresses concern about the state Office of Mental Health and the state Health Department pursuing a "reform" plan that will leave a significant number of children and adolescents without access to mental health care.

The plan will assure continued access to care only to children and families with Medicaid fee-for-service insurance coverage but not to families that have no insurance, or insurance with limited mental health coverage. Families struggling with serious emotional challenges will have trouble finding help if not covered by Medicaid fee-for-service. Clinics and mental health care providers will not be able to continue to accept the low rates offered by Medicaid managed-care carriers and families will not be able to access help.

Anyone who has been through a period of time with a child who is seriously depressed, anxious or behaviorally challenged knows how it affects every facet of one's life.

Our society has moved toward a very misguided view of treatment for mental health issues as being provided in a pill, mainly as a result of pharmaceutical companies' marketing efforts. Medication may be helpful but there is no substitute for the intensive work provided by community clinics, which can target the whole family.

As Mr. Malekoff suggests, the Office of Mental Health must also restore and enhance local assistance funding, which includes a partnership among local and state government, local community and client-consumers for specialty children's outpatient mental health clinics that serve non-Medicaid fee for service clients. Low- and middle-income families deserve access to this care, which is often provided by high quality community-based mental health clinics.

Ronda Fein, Ph.D.

Saratoga Springs
The writer is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

IT'S NOT REFORM WHEN IT HURTS THE MIDDLE CLASS AND WORKING POOR

It's not reform when it hurts the poor

By ANDREW MALEKOFF

First published in print: Monday, July 27, 2009, Albany Times Union

More low- and middle-income families than ever are in need of low-cost, high-quality community-based mental health care. Yet, the state Office of Mental Health, along with the state Health Department, is aggressively pursuing a "reform" plan that will assure continued access to care only to children and families with Medicaid fee-for-service insurance coverage. This will leave a significant number of children and adults in the lurch.

This clinic reform plan sets up a mental health service delivery system that will no longer assure access to care for children, regardless of their parents' ability to pay.

This represents a dramatic departure from New York's statutory responsibility to make sure our most vulnerable citizens -- our children -- get care, regardless of their family's economic status.

Clinic reform signals movement away from a universal model of care to one that will discriminate against underinsured middle-class and working-poor families. Because of the lack of parity between higher rates paid by government and those paid by commercial insurers, many children with what seems like adequate health insurance coverage will no longer receive behavioral health care services from community clinics.

Community clinics are the last bastion in addressing the needs of children and adolescents with serious emotional disturbances. Private psychotherapists, with rare exception, will not provide the labor-intensive work necessary to properly serve children and families struggling with serious emotional disturbances.

One step forward would be for the Health Department to pressure commercial Medicaid managed-care carriers to increase their rates to match Medicaid rates. A second step would be to do the same with commercial insurers.

As community-based clinics void contracts with underpaying commercial insurers, as they are sure to do, families will be denied service if they are unable to pay the full cost. Commercial carriers that cannot demonstrate an "adequacy of network" can and should have their licenses revoked.

Consumers must be educated about these issues so that they can join the fight now and later, when denied services because their carrier cannot offer them an adequate network of care.

Last but not least, the Office of Mental Health must restore and enhance local assistance funding, also known as deficit financing -- a partnership between local and state government, the local community and client-consumer -- for specialty children's outpatient mental health clinics that serve a significant proportion of non-Medicaid fee for service clients. If implemented in its current design, the clinic restructuring plan will guarantee only narrowly-defined treatment for those with Medicaid fee-for-service eligibility. Clinic reform is certain to increase the marginalized role of middle-class and working-poor families in society.

Action must to be taken now to modify the course of clinic reform, before it is too late.

Andrew Malekoff is executive director of the North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center in Roslyn Heights and a member of the state Office of Mental Health group developing the New York State Children's Plan.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

MIND OVER MATTER

MIND OVER MATTER

by Andrew Malekoff

More low income and middle-class families than ever are in need of low cost, high quality community-based mental health care. Yet, as I reported in my April 2009 column, the New York State Office of Mental Health (OMH) in conjunction with the New York State Department of Health is aggressively pursuing a “reform” plan (clinic reform) for these critical services that will result in a system of community care where only those children and families with Medicaid “fee for service” insurance coverage will be assured continued access to care. This will leave a significant number of children and adults living on Long Island in the lurch.

For more than a half a century North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center has been a proud provider of community-based mental health services here on the Island. We are in receipt of the recently released New York State Office of Mental Health Outpatient Clinic Reform Implementation Paper (March 11, 2009) that describes a “soup to nuts” reform of our services. Not only does the reform plan threaten the viability of our agency, but it sets up a mental health service delivery system that will no longer assure access to mental health care for children regardless of their parents’ ability to pay.

This policy shift represents a dramatic departure from what we see as a statutory responsibility on the part of New York State to make sure our most vulnerable citizens – our children - get care, regardless of their families’ economic status. New York State government is moving away from a universal model to a residual model of care where Medicaid coverage is the ticket of admission for community-based mental health.

I have been wondering if the individuals that helped to craft this plan experienced any conflict related to the inconsistency between their beliefs and actions. In my conversations with clinic reform workgroup members, my impression is that they believe strongly in quality community-based mental health care for all children and families. Yet they support a plan that cuts a large segment of the population out of the equation.

To their credit, OMH leadership is committed to the development of an “uncompensated care pool,” consisting of funding to address the uninsured. However, that still leaves the underinsured middle class, lower middle class and working poor on the sidelines.

Three further steps are needed. First, the New York State Department of Health must put pressure on Medicaid managed care insurance carriers to increase their rates to match the government rate. Second, the New York State Department of Insurance needs to do the same with private insurers. Insurance carriers that cannot demonstrate an “adequacy of network” can have their licenses revoked. Third, consumers must be educated about these issues so that they can effectively fight back when denied community-based services because their carrier’s rates are too low to offer them an adequate network of care.

CNN anchor Lou Dobbs, who wrote about the war on the middle class said, “I believe our middle class has suffered in silence for far too long, and simply cannot afford to suffer or be silent much longer. Hardworking Americans have not spoken out about their increasing marginalized role in this society, and as a consequence they’ve all but lost their voice.”

I believe that the clinic reform plan is further validation of Dobbs’ contention. We cannot afford to be silent. Perhaps for some policy makers and insurance carriers, quality community-based mental health for middle class children and their families all boils down to a question of mind over matter – they don’t mind and we don’t matter.

Please join the fight to save children’s community-based mental health services on Long Island. Our children matter - all of them.

Published in the Long Island Anton chain of newspapers in June 2009,copyright Andrew Malekoff

HELLO DALAI

HELLO DALAI

by Andrew Malekoff

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.” – P.J. O’Rourke

The Dalai Lama and the New York State Senate

On May 9, 2009 Nobel Peace Prize laureate the Dalai Lama offered an invocation for the New York State Senate, calling for compassion during tough times. The 73-year old spiritual leader of Tibet spoke from the chamber floor about honesty and transparency and told the Senators and spectators about his deep respect for American values. “This house,” he said, “I think demonstrates the American democratic system.” Ya think?

Just one month later, as we are now painfully aware, a failed legislative coup paralyzed the system that the Dalai Lama praised in the house that he sanctified. Since that time the State Senate deconstructed into a child’s game of “Who gets to hold the gavel.”

Teaching our children about conflict resolution

What can we learn from the senate stalemate fiasco that will help our children when they are in conflict with their peers? According to Marjorie Kostelnik, Dean of College of Education & Human Sciences at the University of Nebraska, in our zeal to reach a compromise, a child might be denied their legitimate right to maintain possession of a desired object. When this occurs, she advises, “the focus should shift to helping the child who wants the object to generate appropriate strategies, such as asking, trading or bargaining to achieve their goal.”

Of course, sometimes our first response to the fuss is to say: “OK kids, who started it?’ or ‘How many times have I told you not to quarrel?” Children typically respond by denial or finger pointing. Of course, neither of these responses leads to constructive problem solving.

Kostelnik says, “It is better to approach the conflict saying: ‘You both seem very upset’ or ‘It looks like both of you want the [gavel] at the same time.’ These statements focus on the problem that exists between the children rather than giving sole responsibility to either child.” Boy oh boy, our New York State Senators sure have given us a lot to think about.

Perhaps the most important goal in conflict resolution is not so much the outcome of a situation as the enhanced ability to handle conflicts on a more mature level. In healthy conflict resolution there are some basic rules of conduct that we can teach our children. No name calling, staying with the topic at hand, no dredging up the past, keeping an open mind, and listening to other points of view. This means no filibustering or talking over one another.

These tips are especially important, living in an era of violence –random, sudden, illogical, and lethal – where anything that seems the slightest bit threatening – a put down, a disagreement, a dirty look – demands immediate retaliation. We need to help our children to peaceably resolve conflicts. It is ironic that the Dalai Lama, a man that advocates for peaceful solutions based upon tolerance and mutual respect, spoke before the Senate just weeks before the mess in Albany.

The Dalai Lama and the Beatles

To digress a bit, when I was a freshman in college in 1969, the Beatles were at their pinnacle. A rumor went around that Paul McCartney died. Word spread like wildfire that there were hidden messages about this on their album covers and in the lyrics of their songs. One neat trick, back in the day, was to play their songs backwards for clues. I did this with the song “Revolution Number 9.” I was sure that when I spun the vinyl disc counterclockwise that I heard the words, “turn me on dead man, turn me on dead man.” This was so freaky that it gave me goose bumps. Of course, the whole thing turned out to be nothing but a clever hoax.

For some reason, this episode in my life recently popped to mind and led me to get hold of the audio of the Dalai Lama’s address to the New York State Senate. Something told me to play it backwards. When I did, I could swear that I heard two words repeated over and over again – term limits, term limits, term limits.

Andrew Malekoff (copyright, July 2009)

Monday, June 15, 2009

FROM ROMPER ROOM TO THE RUBBER ROOM

FROM ROMPER ROOM TO THE RUBBER ROOM

By Andrew Malekoff

Among my earliest memories are watching black and white television shows like Ding Dong School and Romper Room. My father told me that Miss Frances, the teacher from Ding Dong School, used to come into the bar and grill that he managed in Newark, New Jersey. The bar was called the PON, which is short for the Pride of Newark.

At the time I didn’t understand why people went to a bar. Even though I couldn’t figure it out, I had an even harder time understanding why Miss Frances would go there since in those days the bar occupied, for the most part, by men sitting on stools. And, it smelled of beer. Oh yeah, and there were spittoons under each stool. I didn’t understand that either. I couldn’t figure out what she was doing at the PON. After all, she was the most famous nursery school teacher in the world.

I must admit that although I know a lot more now than I did when I was a child, there are still lots of things that I don’t know or understand. For example, recently I had a conversation with some colleagues and one of them referred to a place that selected New York City school teachers sit everyday called the Rubber Room.

Have you ever been a part of a conversation when everyone else seems clued in except for you? That was me. So I set out to do some homework. I discovered that the Rubber Room is where hundreds of New York City school teachers report to every day. These are teachers that are accused of some sort of misconduct and are deemed unfit to teach; their teaching privileges are withdrawn, at least until the adjudication process is exhausted. So, they sit in a room and get paid full salary to do nothing at a cost of over 35 million dollars a year.

I learned that there is no official place called the Rubber Room that you can find in a school directory, for example. The origin of the name seems to be linked to the fact that some of its inhabitants may have emotional problems or are at risk being driven mad by sitting idle and rendered useless in such a place for months and sometimes years. It reminds me a of a “time out” room for teachers.

I have not found a Rubber Room on Long Island. I imagine that there are Long Island residents that teach in the city and sit in the Rubber Room. There is a neat website: www.rubberroommovie.com that provides some Rubber Room facts. Here is a sample from the website.

• How long do teachers spend there? It can be months, although some have spent 8 to 10 years in the Rubber Room.
• How does someone get out? There is a hearing, like a trial, that determines their guilt or innocence and that leads to termination or a return to the classroom.
• Is it pleasant? Some complain of an unhealthy, volatile and even dangerous atmosphere where overcrowding, depression, screaming and even fights over chairs and tables are commonplace.

How can it be that in the 21st century that such a place exists in a neighboring school system?

Really smart and dedicated educators spend a great deal of time figuring out how to take care of our children and make sure that they have the proper setting, instruction and support to optimize their academic and social-emotional development. Yet, just footsteps beyond the Nassau-Queens border we discover a world apart, a throwback to the dungeon of medieval times.

I wonder what Miss Frances would do if she had to sit in the Rubber Room? Could it be that in her later years that is why she often visited the Pride of Newark?

Published in the Anton Chain of newspapers, Long Island, New York, May 2009

Sunday, May 10, 2009

"IF YOUR CHILD IS NOT HEALTHY, MY CHILD IS NOT SAFE"

“If your child is not healthy, my child is not safe”

by Andrew Malekoff

Are we going to continue to catch the children that are falling through the cracks or are we going to abandon them?

There is a critical decision that has been made in Albany that will impact negatively on thousands of children and families across Nassau County and that will dramatically increase costs to taxpayers as increasing numbers children will be removed from their homes and institutionalized.

The New York State Office of Mental Health (OMH) has implemented a plan that they call Transforming New York’s Mental Health System (the Plan). The Plan is a blueprint for the destruction of children’s community-based outpatient mental health services in Nassau County.

Here are the facts:

The Plan is dramatically skewed in favor of funding services for individuals with Medicaid-only insurance coverage. At North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center, for example, this represents only 7% of people that use mental health services.

The Plan discriminates against the middle and lower middle class and working poor families that are underinsured or uninsured and live in the suburbs of Nassau County. In fact, the Plan discriminates against all people that pay taxes and are entitled to basic mental health services. Although the Plan refers to something called an “uncompensated care” provision, it does not address the deficit generated when serving a preponderance of middle and lower middle class and working poor families.

Community mental health centers are the last bastion in addressing the needs of children and teens with serious emotional disturbances and their families. Private psychotherapists and counselors, with rare exception, cannot afford to offer the labor intensive work necessary to properly serve families that are struggling with serious emotional disturbance. If you know one that can, terrific! Competent private practitioners know when they can handle a situation on their own and when they need to refer to a community-based agency that specializes in children’s mental health; the very place that the New York State Office of Mental Health has kicked to the curb.

The consequence of the OMH Plan will be devastating to the children and families in Nassau County. It will lead to the loss of life, children being plucked from their homes and institutionalized, and families being splintered and destroyed.

I ask you to join me in calling on Nassau County and New York State to restore and enhance local assistance funding – a partnership between local and state government, the local community and client-consumer. Local assistance funding will support community-based children’s mental health centers that would otherwise disappear or be rendered ineffective as the result of the dramatic lack of government support to the suburbs that the Plan represents.

Call Tom Suozzi and your local County and State legislators and tell them:

• That the New York State Office of Mental Health’s Plan discriminates against their constituents - the middle and lower middle class and working poor children and families that are uninsured and underinsured.

• The New York State Office of Mental Health is discriminating against children and youth with mental health disorders and their families.

• To restore local assistance funding in New York State or there will be no responsive, community-based children’s mental health services in Nassau County by the year 2012 if not sooner.

I urge you to take just a few moments of your time to join the fight for children’s mental health. Community mental health center’s are there for you and your family in your time of need.

Things may be going great in your family, but we know that even when they are, the unexpected enters and we all need a credible place to turn to.

And, if you are fortunate enough to never need such help, please bear in mind what a local mom once told me about her reason for supporting children’s mental health, “If your child is not healthy, my child is not safe.”


First published in the Anton chain of 18 newspapers in Nassau County, New York in April 2009.

A PLAN TO GUT MENTAL HEALTH

NEWSDAY
April 21, 2009, p. A34
A plan to gut mental health

More middle-class families are in need of mental health services ["More seek help in stressful time," News, April 20]. Yet, the New York State Office of Mental Health has a plan that is a blueprint for the destruction of children's community-based mental health services in the suburbs.

The OMH plan - called Transforming New York's Mental Health System - is dramatically skewed in favor of supporting services for families with Medicaid-only insurance coverage. That means it discriminates against the middle- and lower-middle-class and working-poor families that are underinsured or uninsured.

At the North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center these kinds of families represent almost 75 percent of those seeking our help.

The answer is for Nassau County and New York State to join to restore and enhance local assistance funding - a partnership between local and state government, the local community and the consumer of mental health services.

Andrew Malekoff

Long Beach

Editor's note: The writer is executive director for North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center in Roslyn Heights.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

EYES WIDE SHUT

Eyes Wide Shut

As we come to the end of the motion picture awards season one recent independent and obscure film that stands out for me is Wendy and Lucy. In this film we meet a young woman who is hanging by a thread. Wendy is doing her best, with little support and money, to survive day to day and maintain her dignity. Along the way she loses her dog Lucy, the only stable and loving relationship in her life. Ultimately, she is faced with making a heartbreaking decision that their mutual welfare depends upon.

As Wendy’s car that also serves as her bed breaks down and her resources dwindle, she collects cans and bottles and shoplifts dog food. She encounters a group of homeless people making a fire, a self-righteous store clerk, a smug auto mechanic, a sympathetic security guard, and a psychotic drifter, among others. We see each of them from the unique perspective of a young woman alone and on the verge of economic collapse and homeless destitution.

Wendy offers a lens through which we can see such a transformation evolve. Many homeless people were something and somewhere else first. Wendy is such a person.

Although this low budget, spare film is a dramatic and moving work of fiction, it reminds me that we cannot afford to overlook the impact - the anxieties and fears - that the downturn of the economy has on today’s teenager. Parents need to be open and direct with their children.

According to Allen Cardoza, founder of West Shield Adolescent Services in Newport Beach, California, here are four significant ways parents can help teens survive and thrive in an economic downturn:

1. Speak immediately and honestly about the family financial and employment situation. Provide reassurance that the economic situation is not their fault. You cannot predict when it will end, only that as a family you will get through it.

2. Be firm about spending changes that will need to be made. Allow reductions across the board. Prioritize what is needed most by whom.

3. Assist your teenager with income producing ideas such as a dog walking service, grocery delivery, mowing lawns, etc. Allow your teenagers to contribute a percentage to the household budget and keep a portion for their own "extras."

4. Budget a fun family activity at regular intervals to keep everyone connected and motivated.

Wendy and Lucy is a film that offers a window on an extreme situation in which a young woman barely out of her teens demonstrates resilience in her quest to overcome the significant risks she faces. Teenagers today, despite what might be projected as apathy, have strong feelings about what is happening in our world and in their family. We need to keep them informed without imposing guilt or blame.

Wendy and Lucy pleads with us to do what we must all do with children and teens we care about during these difficult times - not to close our eyes or turn our backs on them.

Originally published in the Anton Newspaper chain, Long Island, NY, in February 2009.

NATALIE CIAPPA'S LAW

Natalie Ciappa’s Law

By Andrew Malekoff©

One month ago the Nassau County legislature passed a bill that requires police to notify school districts about heroin arrests. The bill, Natalie Ciappa’s Law, is named after a teenaged girl from Long Island, who died of a heroin overdose in June, 2008.

My heart goes out to Natalie’s family and to the growing number of families on Long Island that grieve the loss of their children to heroin and other addictions. Having worked in the addictions field for over three decades there are a few simple truths that I have learned. One is that drug addiction is a disease that destroys families. Another is that it doesn’t have to.

A Disease Suffered Secretly

Those that are afflicted with heroin addiction and their families have been stigmatized by an unforgiving society that view it not as an illness but as the consequence of a moral failing, lack of will power or poor parenting. Although progress has been made in dispelling such damaging myths, I am afraid that we still have a very long way to go.

Most people with physical illnesses are the beneficiaries of widespread understanding, sympathy and support. Not so with addiction. Can you imagine for a moment lecturing a parent whose child is diagnosed with brain cancer and telling them that if they had enforced an earlier curfew that the cancer could have been prevented. Such is the twisted logic of the self righteous and ignorant who refuse to accept that addiction is a disease that does not discriminate by race, faith, upbringing or privilege.

The stigma of addiction necessitates that it is most often suffered secretly, only deepening the pain for all that care for an addicted child. Public support must replace secret pain; and therein lies the challenge in Natalie Ciappa’s Law. With this law comes enormous responsibility. School officials will no longer be able to keep a straight face and say, “There is no drug problem in my school district.”

A Call to Action

Will the passing of this law bring with it dialogue and collaboration among stakeholders that will ensure that notification of arrest information will cause no further damage to suffering families? Will the passing of this law protect and prevent others from criminal activity, and also help young people and families to find and get the help that they need?
The answer to these questions is: It depends. It depends what school district leadership does with it. I assure you that it will not be easy. But nothing worth fighting for ever is.

Natalie’s Ciappa’s Law will shake things up and create dilemmas and concerns among school officials, family members and others. Sometimes it is worth the risk to shake things up in order to make a difference.

Beyond notification, I hope that the law that bears her name will do two things. First, I hope that it will serve to remind all parents that Natalie was not a bad girl. She was a beautiful young woman who suffered from an insidious and progressive disease. In addition to the good that it can do, passing this law is a step towards publicly restoring Natalie’s good name and the dignity that she deserves in death. Second, I hope that the New York State Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse Services (OASAS) will provide adequate funding and strong leadership for drug and alcohol treatment for teenagers and their families.

Natalie’s Legacy

Finally, although there are those that believe strongly that this new law is flawed, either because it does not go far enough to expose other illegal drug activity or because it goes too far in exposing vulnerable individuals, it is my hope that Natalie Ciappa’s Law will be a step forward in the ongoing march to ensure that all our children are healthy and safe.

Originally published in the Anton Newspaper chain, Long Island, NY in January 2009.