REACH OUT AND REMEMBER

Andrew Malekoff

In the aftermath of the 17th anniversary of 9/11 I offer a remembrance of several groups of people – all Queens, NY court personnel - whom I spent a day with in their courthouse, just three days after the 2001 terrorist attack.

The people I met with included individuals with missing relatives or friends, individuals with relatives or friends confirmed dead, individuals who were in the World Trade Center complex during the attack, individuals with family members who barely escaped, and individuals who witnessed the attack and collapse of the Twin Towers from courthouse windows. All were deeply affected. Most were in a state of shock and disbelief.

When I arrived at the courthouse after getting off at the Jamaica stop of the Long Island Railroad, I learned that I would be meeting with three groups of 8 to 12 people each. I was called in by an official from an Employee Assistance Program to offer a supportive group experience. We met in a vacant courtroom. I arranged chairs around two adjacent prosecution and defense tables.

As I awaited the first group a court officer said, “Today should be interesting.” I asked him what he meant. He said, “It’s foreclosure Friday.” He explained that every Friday they have an auction of foreclosed property and, typically, about 200 Arab-Americans participate in the auction, signaling a sense of mounting unease with people of Middle Eastern descent.

I greeted the first group, and one by one the participants revealed signs and symptoms of trauma and stress. These included numbness, shock, headaches, loss of appetite, aches and pains, frequent trips to the bathroom, sleeplessness, flashbacks, startle responses to loud noises (especially airplanes), helplessness, gruesome nightmares, anger, uncertainty, guilt and fear.

Fear was a powerful theme. Many felt that the courthouse was unsafe. During the final group meeting a female court officer walked in unannounced and searched for explosives, explaining that there had been a bomb threat.

At least one or two people wept openly in each group, women and men. In each group at least one person left the room to compose themselves and then came back. More than one person said, “I can’t stop crying.” And more than one said, “I can’t cry.”

Anger was a prevailing theme. There was anger at the government. “How could they let this happen?” they asked.

Many shared feelings of disbelief, saying how surreal it all seems. One said, “I am in a semi-daze; I feel like I am not even here.”

Guilt was prevalent, especially about going on with mundane day-to-day activities. A court officer said he felt insignificant, like “a grain of sand.” He said he felt helpless and wondered if he was going crazy.

The loss of innocence was best expressed by a group member who lamented, “Aren’t our children entitled to the life we enjoyed?”

One group participant’s son escaped from the 78^th floor. He took the stairs. His co-workers waited for the elevator. They didn’t survive. The son’s story was retold by his mother through sobs. When he emerged from the building, she shared, he witnessed “flaming bodies falling from the sky.” Two others held her hands as she told the story.

In each group people reached out to comfort one another through physical touch and understanding words. In one group a woman who said she couldn’t understand why she hadn’t cried was brought to tears by another’s pain over a missing sister.

In closing, the participants in one group agreed that “it’s good to know you’re not alone,” and “it’s good to know you’re not going crazy.”

I found the intensity of that experience and the participants’ ability to reach out to one another moving.

Although I was there to facilitate, my role was to bear witness. It confirmed for me what I was already feeling; when facing incomprehensible tragedy and overwhelming grief we must push ourselves to forgo isolation and reach out to one another.

Another September to reach out and remember.

Bio: Andrew Malekoff is the Executive Director of North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center, which provides comprehensive mental health services for children from birth through 24 and their families. To find out more, visit www.northshorechildguidance.org.

Published in the Long Island Weekly, September 12, 2018:  https://longislandweekly.com/reach-out-and-remember-september-11/

                                                                                                        

PROJECT REBIRTH

PROJECT REBIRTH

By Andrew Malekoff©

In the immediate aftermath of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack on America, several artists joined together to produce a soft cover book entitled 9/11: Artists Respond. The book of graphic art showcases the artists’ responses to the terror that befell the world. One nine-frame piece by Jeph Loeb and Scott Campbell entitled “Please Stand By…” features a girl of about eight years of age watching cartoons on television. By the third and fourth frames, the image on the screen changes to a live feed of the Twin Towers ablaze. As the little girl stands transfixed, stuffed animal in hand and her face less than 12 inches from the screen, the commentator announces, “We interrupt this program to take you live…” the little girl turns away and calls, “Mommy…” The next three frames show her mother dropping a basket of laundry. Then, with her face contorted in anguish, the mother embraces her daughter to shield her from the unrelenting images. The final frame is a close-up of the little girl asking, “Mommy, when are the cartoons gonna come back on?”

Recently I had the opportunity of viewing another set of images in the form of a moving 30-minute preview of a feature-length documentary film by filmmaker Jim Whitaker that captures rebuilding of the World Trade Center (WTC) and nine people coping with 9/11. Whitaker, who was visiting New York City to attend a wedding at the time of the terrorist attack, is the founder of Project Rebirth, a non-profit initiative aiming to chronicle living history and honor 9/11 victims and first responders.

The film introduces us to a diverse group of nine people, all of whom were impacted by 9 / 11 and agreed to participate in a series of interviews conducted by Whitaker during following years. These individuals include:

• A survivor from an impact floor on the South Tower
• A NYPD officer who oversaw recovery efforts at the Fresh Kills Landfill
• A fireman that survived the collapse of the Towers, but lost his best friend in addition to 343 fellow firefighters
• A teenage boy who lost his mother
• A young woman who lost her fiancé
• A construction worker who lost his brother and assisted with recovery efforts
• A Muslim American woman who became an advocate for religious tolerance
• A volunteer in the recovery effort who later assisted hurricane Katrina survivors
• A man who lost his domestic partner of 14 years and then moved to the West Coast

They generously offer us, and future generations no doubt, the intimate gift of their unfolding grief and resiliency in the face of disaster.

The film is scheduled for release in 2010. In addition to preserving history through this personal record of the long-term grieving process, it is the aim of this film to capture the rebuilding of the World Trade Center. This is accomplished through the use of 12 time-lapse cameras recording 24/7 at the WTC site.

It is the mission of Project Rebirth, beyond creating the documentary, to educate and inform students and future generations, and to help support victims of and first responders to major disasters. A Project Rebirth Center will be developed to integrate and improve on therapeutic, educational and training resources focused on grief and trauma suffered by victims and first responders to major disasters.

I am not sure whether Project Rebirth answers the little girl’s question of, “when are the cartoons gonna come back on?” But I am certain that this astounding work of art will go a long way toward helping survivors and responders of disasters to find their ways out of the darkness.

For more information visit the Project Rebirth website at www.projectrebirth.org.

Originally printed in the Anton Newspapers on Long Island on August 27, 2009.