WHAT TEENS NEED

WHAT TEENS NEED

By Andrew Malekoff©

Cries of “hate” ring out in the slaying of Ecuadorean immigrant Marcelo Lucero, allegedly by a group of seven Patchogue-Medford High School students. The victim seems to have been targeted for his ethnicity, and the crime is horrific. But our community will benefit more over the long run by recognizing that while it is not normal to be involved in a murder such as this, it is normal for every adolescent to face the issue of diversity.

Those of us who work with youth in schools, community centers and counseling practices face the challenge of helping teenagers to address the question openly and honestly. We need to encourage discussions about ethnic identity, prejudice, and inter-group relations not as taboo, but as a normal part of growing up.

We can help young people to tune in to ethnically and racially charged local, national and international events impacting on them. When stories like the killing of Marcelo Lucero dominate the media, young people’s stereotyping and polarization are too often reinforced.

A meeting I had with a group of teenagers on Long Island in the immediate aftermath of the Columbine High School shootings comes to mind. The teenagers talked about their feelings regarding profiling and stepped up security in schools and in the community.

One member, Carlos, recalled being stopped by a police officer who asked to check his arms. “He was looking for gang tattoos. He thought I was MS 13,” Carlos explained as he slowly pulled his shirt sleeve back across his forearm as if back in the moment. “I told the cop, ‘First, of all I’m Salvadorian and proud of it. Second, I’m not a gang banger.’ ”

“A week later,” Carlos continued, “I saw the same cop at my restaurant job. It was the same cop! Well, I work as a maitre de and I was wearing my tuxedo. He looked me over and seemed really confused, puzzled. I smiled and said to him ‘See I’m the same person.’ ”

A healthy exchange of ideas and opinions about controversial subjects, especially in the safe environment of a professionally moderated group, enables young people to test out their beliefs and attitudes, to practice listening to others’ views, to respectfully express differences, and to discover common ground.

Carlos’ revelation led another member to share an experience with a different kind of bias. Jackie, a 15-year-old girl with a stud in her tongue and hoops in her left ear, told the group the story about how when she got her tongue pierced, all of a sudden, “Everybody looked at me differently, like I was from another planet, a dirt bag. But I’m the same! I’m still a good student. I’m the same kid as before.”

Jackie’s reflection illustrates that in addition to advancing an understanding of cultural differences, we can reach for common experiences among young people across cultures. This can open pathways for relating among different ethnic groups.

Presently, we all face the sad possibility of seeing a dramatic erosion of empathy and loss of community amid the struggle for economic survival. We cannot afford to allow the development of empathy to slip away from our youth in the process.

I have a hypothesis about the recent presidential election that relates to this issue. This was a campaign in which the possible effects of racism were frequently and publicly expressed — much more than ever before. Long after Barack Obama’s speech about race, there was constant fear expressed in the media about a “Bradley effect,” in which potential voters would tell pollsters they supported Obama and then pull the lever for a white candidate instead.
Perhaps this open discussion about race — somewhat analogous to a group session — gave a number of people a chance to process their feelings and ultimately feel comfortable voting for a black president.

Ironically neither candidate touched the issue of immigration in the debates and town hall meetings. If the presidential election marks a step forward in racial sensitivity, I wonder, did we take a step backward with respect to attitudes about immigration?

Published in NEWSDAY, Sunday, November 16, 2008, pp. A48-A49

________________________________________