Truamatized Teens Need Help
by Andrew Malekoff©
Reports of teens murdering their parents have a way of getting reactions from the public that tell us a lot about ourselves. The first question many people raise is: Should these kids be tried as adults or subject to a more humane and child-friendly legal standard? But this doesn't address the problem of prevention. How do we stop them from killing in the first place?
In a culture that often glorifies violence increasing numbers of young people, when they reach a boiling point of anger or actual mental illness, might literally do anything to satisfy their frustrations or to gain attention. Bravado, especially for teenagers, is everything, and for any action that seems the slightest bit threatening - a put-down, a disagreement, a dirty look - they often will seek immediate retaliation.
The recent cases of a 12-year-old girl accused of strangling her mother in Freeport and a 17-year-old boy charged with choking his father in Wyandanch represent extreme outcomes, of course. But their origins are common: Children are caught in an escalating situation, usually with people they know, from which they cannot disengage, and they lack skills, aside from violence, for defusing it.
When the result is murder, the story gets into the news. But those of us who work with teenagers for a living are seeing an unpublicized increase in the kinds of cases that can lead to this sorry end: children and teens with serious emotional disturbances who are victims of childhood trauma or have witnessed domestic violence, and who are exhibiting unmanageable behavior.
When a child wakes up each morning with a sense of dread and fear, he approaches the day in a state of arousal and anxiety. He is likely to cope by lashing out and moving from impulse to action without pausing to reflect. Or, absent a capacity to soothe himself, he will turn his feelings inward, fueling depression, and suicidal and other self-destructive behaviors.
Society expects parents to do everything that's needed to solve this problem: to counter violent messages in the media, teach children problem-solving skills, and then keep them physically and emotionally safe. These are unrealistic expectations. Too many parents lack the information and wherewithal to accomplish this on their own, and many are themselves emotionally troubled. Parents need a system of support.
And children need order and consistency in their lives. They need safe places to go, with worthwhile things to do and opportunities for belonging. And they need relationships with competent adults who understand and care about them.If a young person can get all of this naturally within the family and from neighbors, a highly structured support program may not be necessary. The problem is that supportive communities and social structures have largely disappeared, especially in widely dispersed suburban communities like those on Long Island, where the first feature one notices are garages that are easy to slip into without interacting with or even seeing a neighbor.
Just weeks after the Columbine High School shootings, I met with a group of about 25 teens and adults from Long Island who gathered to address the impact of a distant horror that had hit so close to home. To the surprise of most of the adults, the teenagers said that what they really needed and wanted was closer relationships with adults - at home, at school and in the community. They were starving for someone to pay attention to them.Yet, they admitted that they also push grown-ups away. "Is this what you really want to happen?" I asked. The overwhelming response was an emphatic "No."This is a paradoxical aspect of young people's psychology that often confounds adults. They have a strong need for adult contact, coexisting with the need to be separate, expressed as "Understand me, but leave me alone."
This suggests that teenagers want adult support but are unlikely to go out of their way to seek it out. On Long Island there has been steady progress in the human services community toward programs that are based on partnerships with parents, schools, government agencies and community-based organizations that bring adult support out of private offices to where the teenage action is.
A prime example is the Intensive Support Program, a school-based mental health partnership between Nassau BOCES' Department of Special Education and my agency, North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center. The program targets children and youth aged 5 to 21 with serious emotional disturbances, aiming to improve their social, emotional and academic development and prevent costly long-term placements in residential institutions by keeping them at home.
An effort intended to steer children away from violent activity and gang involvement by offering such services as conflict resolution, cultural activities and tutoring is occurring in the Westbury and Port Washington schools in the Helping Each Other Program for Latino youth. This collaboration with The Place Adolescent Services Center, which is also affiliated with the North Shore guidance center, matches trained high school mentors of Hispanic heritage with younger students.
The cutting edge of youth service work in the suburbs is to be where the kids are. Of course, there is a cost. But it's just a fraction of the cost to house troubled teenagers in a mental-health or juvenile justice institution.If legislators and government officials can get past the cost-cutting ploy of referring to such services as "discretionary," we will see much less youth violence, and certainly fewer murders, in the long run. These are essential human services that require a significant investment now, before it is too late.
Originally published in Newsday, July 2005.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
"24-HOUR-A-DAY-GUARD-DUTY"
24-hour-a-day-guard-duty
by Andrew Malekoff© 2008
As winters in February go, this year’s was a mild one. Nevertheless, it was brutal month that brought the inexplicable murders of three young children in New Cassel and the execution-style killing of a teenage boy outside Don Juan’s restaurant in Westbury.
A legion of children and teens (and others) left in the wake of these deaths are the collateral damage that bloodshed brings. They include family, friends, and neighbors of the four young victims. Many of them now face the emptiness, frustration, fear and rage of incomprehensible death. They are at risk for suffering traumatic stress that impacts deeply on their lives, interfering with normal social growth and destroying their basic assumptions about the safety of the world. A single line of graffiti on a concrete wall, composed by a young trauma survivor, says it best: “I don’t like being a child, its 24-hour-a-day guard duty.”
What we know is that society expects parents to do everything—to counter the violent messages in the media, to teach children problem-solving skills, and then to keep them physically and emotionally safe. These are unrealistic expectations. Too many parents lack the information and wherewithal to accomplish this alone. Parents need our help.
At North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center we have a long history in the New Cassel community. Consequently, we were invited to meet with groups of parents, faculty and others in Park Avenue Elementary School, where one of the young victims attended. Being a community-based agency with deep roots in the neighborhood made all the difference. Meeting in groups is essential to rebuilding social connections that traumatic situations destroy.
A first step is to encourage parents and other caring adults to address their own feelings. This is necessary to free them to help their children to cope. Trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk advises that, “successful coping in the aftermath of traumatic events must protect four vital functions: the ability to continue task-oriented activity, the ability to regulate emotion, the ability to sustain positive self value, and the capacity to maintain and enjoy rewarding interpersonal contacts.”
A second step is to identify and emphasize community strengths and resources that sustain hope and reduce shame and isolation. Restoring a sense of community is critical for transcending the emotional impact of deadly violence.
I feel confident that as the bright lights and unforgiving glare of the media fade, and then flicker on again with every new legal development and political promise, the good people of New Cassel will heal and will rise up as those before them have risen up.
The good people of New Cassel will heal, with a little help from their true friends, and will let the world know that although Jewell Ward, Michael Demesyeux, Innocent Demesyeux, and Edwin Yovani Mejia are gone, they will never be forgotten.
As for the rest of us, we are faced with the daunting challenge of ensuring that no child’s life will be what it is becoming for too many today - 24-hour-a-day guard duty.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY in March 2008.
by Andrew Malekoff© 2008
As winters in February go, this year’s was a mild one. Nevertheless, it was brutal month that brought the inexplicable murders of three young children in New Cassel and the execution-style killing of a teenage boy outside Don Juan’s restaurant in Westbury.
A legion of children and teens (and others) left in the wake of these deaths are the collateral damage that bloodshed brings. They include family, friends, and neighbors of the four young victims. Many of them now face the emptiness, frustration, fear and rage of incomprehensible death. They are at risk for suffering traumatic stress that impacts deeply on their lives, interfering with normal social growth and destroying their basic assumptions about the safety of the world. A single line of graffiti on a concrete wall, composed by a young trauma survivor, says it best: “I don’t like being a child, its 24-hour-a-day guard duty.”
What we know is that society expects parents to do everything—to counter the violent messages in the media, to teach children problem-solving skills, and then to keep them physically and emotionally safe. These are unrealistic expectations. Too many parents lack the information and wherewithal to accomplish this alone. Parents need our help.
At North Shore Child and Family Guidance Center we have a long history in the New Cassel community. Consequently, we were invited to meet with groups of parents, faculty and others in Park Avenue Elementary School, where one of the young victims attended. Being a community-based agency with deep roots in the neighborhood made all the difference. Meeting in groups is essential to rebuilding social connections that traumatic situations destroy.
A first step is to encourage parents and other caring adults to address their own feelings. This is necessary to free them to help their children to cope. Trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk advises that, “successful coping in the aftermath of traumatic events must protect four vital functions: the ability to continue task-oriented activity, the ability to regulate emotion, the ability to sustain positive self value, and the capacity to maintain and enjoy rewarding interpersonal contacts.”
A second step is to identify and emphasize community strengths and resources that sustain hope and reduce shame and isolation. Restoring a sense of community is critical for transcending the emotional impact of deadly violence.
I feel confident that as the bright lights and unforgiving glare of the media fade, and then flicker on again with every new legal development and political promise, the good people of New Cassel will heal and will rise up as those before them have risen up.
The good people of New Cassel will heal, with a little help from their true friends, and will let the world know that although Jewell Ward, Michael Demesyeux, Innocent Demesyeux, and Edwin Yovani Mejia are gone, they will never be forgotten.
As for the rest of us, we are faced with the daunting challenge of ensuring that no child’s life will be what it is becoming for too many today - 24-hour-a-day guard duty.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY in March 2008.
Sunday, March 9, 2008
HATEFUL MESSAGES ADD TO SORROW
Hateful messages add to sorrow: Three children die – and some readers’ depraved responses to the tragedy create and evil all their own
BY ANDREW MALEKOFF
March 4, 2008
I made a disturbing discovery the Sunday afternoon of Feb. 24 when the murder of three innocent children, the youngest named Innocent, allegedly at the hands of their profoundly troubled mother, was first reported on Newsday's Web site. Few details were available at the time. The headline on the Web site read: "Sources: Mom Kills Three Kids in New Cassel." My stomach dropped. I couldn't recall a story quite like this since I moved to Long Island in the late 1970s.
When I scrolled to the end of the story, there was a place to click to "Read all 40 comments." This link, which appears in many online stories in Newsday and other newspapers, takes you to a "Forum," a place for the public to comment.
I clicked into the forum, and amid readers' expressions of shock, dismay, sadness and sympathy, I found a significant stream of depravity. The forum, for the most part, consists of anonymous writers who tag their reflections with a range of nicknames. Here is a sample, exactly as the notes appeared:
Typical wrote: "The savages at it again ... "
The Pusher wrote: "New Cassel should be nuked."
Shoot Me Twice wrote: "The kids didn't put on a convincing performance at the Department of Social Services for mommy to get more free goodies. Maybe Tom Suozzi (County Executive) can use them as extra help at his mansion on the North Shore.
"Senseless wrote: "Where O Where could my Daddy be? In jail most probably . . . planning to get out and commit the next robbery.
"Booker wrote: ". . . These are unstable people with weak genes, she did society a favor. Animals kill their young when they know they are too weak to make a go of it, why are we so different?"
Comments like these continued throughout the week. On Feb. 27 someone identifying himself as Bruce wrote of the murdered children: "three less drains on society. good riddance."
Sprinkled in were a number of counter-responses like this one by Disgusted, "I am sickened by this sad story and sickened again by all of these disgusting comments ... it's really pathetic that some of you have nothing to do but spew hatred."
Sometimes one response would specifically engage another. Right after the children's funerals, I found: Tookie (Huntington Station): "da lil nappi headed **** are in heaven now!"
To which SadSadness AOL responded: ". . . heartless cold person, 3 innocent children were killed regardless of race. If your not feeling sad over this your an evil person. those children did nothing wrong and def did not deserve that, May they Rest in peace respectfully."
It's one of the great benefits of the Internet to offer instant access to news, along with a chance for the audience to instantly share comments about it. But in this situation, even with certain incendiary remarks slapped right down, this seemed like a mixed blessing.
Newsday, like many media sites, has guidelines to try to keep the online conversation civil and constructive.
Yet, after reading messages on the murder of three small children, I am discovering feelings of sorrow that I did not think I would ever experience for the mother who is alleged to have carried out the horror of all horrors, killing her own. Strangely, and I am sure unforgivably to some, I find myself feeling more of a human connection to Leatrice Brewer than to Typical, The Pusher, Booker, Shoot Me Twice, Senseless and their gang.
Copyright © 2008, Newsday Inc.
BY ANDREW MALEKOFF
March 4, 2008
I made a disturbing discovery the Sunday afternoon of Feb. 24 when the murder of three innocent children, the youngest named Innocent, allegedly at the hands of their profoundly troubled mother, was first reported on Newsday's Web site. Few details were available at the time. The headline on the Web site read: "Sources: Mom Kills Three Kids in New Cassel." My stomach dropped. I couldn't recall a story quite like this since I moved to Long Island in the late 1970s.
When I scrolled to the end of the story, there was a place to click to "Read all 40 comments." This link, which appears in many online stories in Newsday and other newspapers, takes you to a "Forum," a place for the public to comment.
I clicked into the forum, and amid readers' expressions of shock, dismay, sadness and sympathy, I found a significant stream of depravity. The forum, for the most part, consists of anonymous writers who tag their reflections with a range of nicknames. Here is a sample, exactly as the notes appeared:
Typical wrote: "The savages at it again ... "
The Pusher wrote: "New Cassel should be nuked."
Shoot Me Twice wrote: "The kids didn't put on a convincing performance at the Department of Social Services for mommy to get more free goodies. Maybe Tom Suozzi (County Executive) can use them as extra help at his mansion on the North Shore.
"Senseless wrote: "Where O Where could my Daddy be? In jail most probably . . . planning to get out and commit the next robbery.
"Booker wrote: ". . . These are unstable people with weak genes, she did society a favor. Animals kill their young when they know they are too weak to make a go of it, why are we so different?"
Comments like these continued throughout the week. On Feb. 27 someone identifying himself as Bruce wrote of the murdered children: "three less drains on society. good riddance."
Sprinkled in were a number of counter-responses like this one by Disgusted, "I am sickened by this sad story and sickened again by all of these disgusting comments ... it's really pathetic that some of you have nothing to do but spew hatred."
Sometimes one response would specifically engage another. Right after the children's funerals, I found: Tookie (Huntington Station): "da lil nappi headed **** are in heaven now!"
To which SadSadness AOL responded: ". . . heartless cold person, 3 innocent children were killed regardless of race. If your not feeling sad over this your an evil person. those children did nothing wrong and def did not deserve that, May they Rest in peace respectfully."
It's one of the great benefits of the Internet to offer instant access to news, along with a chance for the audience to instantly share comments about it. But in this situation, even with certain incendiary remarks slapped right down, this seemed like a mixed blessing.
Newsday, like many media sites, has guidelines to try to keep the online conversation civil and constructive.
Yet, after reading messages on the murder of three small children, I am discovering feelings of sorrow that I did not think I would ever experience for the mother who is alleged to have carried out the horror of all horrors, killing her own. Strangely, and I am sure unforgivably to some, I find myself feeling more of a human connection to Leatrice Brewer than to Typical, The Pusher, Booker, Shoot Me Twice, Senseless and their gang.
Copyright © 2008, Newsday Inc.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
BREAKING THE SILENCE
BREAKING THE SILENCE
By Andy Malekoff© 2007
As a student athlete who played competitive contact sports, I learned at an early age not to grumble about aches and pains or even more serious injuries. I learned to “play hurt,” a price that I was willing to pay and that promised me the dual advantage of advancing my standing on the team and garnering the respect of my coaches and teammates. Consequently, I played with broken bones, severe sprains, bruised ribs, painful contusions known as “hip pointers” and concussions. All but the latter could be detected by the naked eye.
I never once told a coach that I was injured. It was their job to figure it out, to observe me in action and then decide whether or not I should be pulled off the field. Keeping quiet and playing hurt were learned behaviors and important values on the field of play – a badge of honor.
Once when watching game films, my high school football coach chewed me out after a kick off when I appeared to be dogging it. “Malekoff, What are you doing, picking daisies?,” he hollered to the delight of my teammates who convulsed in laughter as he played the film clip over and over again. What did not make it into the frame was the knee applied to my head during a full speed collision with an opponent just moments before my screen debut. Only I knew about the collision that left me seeing stars and staggering about trying to maintain my balance. The truth is that I was out cold on my feet. I stayed on the field, continued to play and never told a soul. This was a scene that was repeated over the years.
I recently learned from reading a compelling series of New York Times articles by Alan Schwartz, that concussions in sports have reached epidemic proportions. Schwartz referred to this as a silent epidemic and a public health issue, fueled by a gladiator culture.
According to Schwartz, “At least 50 high school or younger football players in more than 20 states since 1997 have been killed or have sustained serious head injuries on the field.” He goes on to say that the sad truth is that these could have been prevented through better awareness and respect for the severity of a head injury.
He found that girls are even more vulnerable to concussions than boys in the sports that both play, such as soccer and basketball. I doubt that early advocates of Title IX of the Educational Amendments Act of 1972, a federal law prohibiting sex discrimination in educational institutions, anticipated that as young women and girls exploded onto the sports scene, that they would one day adopt a men’s code of silence. Apparently some have.
What can we do as parents to help to break the silence? If this is a public health issue we must insist that all children and teenagers and their parents be educated early on about the risks, consequences, signs and symptoms of head injury. In addition, young people who are planning to play contact sports require values education that puts the gladiator-play-at-any-cost-culture up for inspection. Adults who care about kids need to offer alternative views and models for demonstrating courage and heart. We must provide a counterforce to the dangerous and false belief that putting one’s well being or life in jeopardy when playing a game is noble.
Competitive sports involves sacrifice, perseverance, loyalty, honor, and courage, all values that will serve one well throughout life. They have served me well. However, maintaining a code of silence about a serious injury that can lead to lifelong consequences is another thing altogether.
Keeping quiet about a head injury is not honorable or courageous. On the contrary, it is ignorant and it is a betrayal of one’s body and mind, and of one’s loved ones.
We must demand that those in power in youth, interscholastic and intercollegiate sports protect our children; and we must help our children, from an early age, to think critically and to develop the good sense and courage, without shame, to break the silence.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY.
By Andy Malekoff© 2007
As a student athlete who played competitive contact sports, I learned at an early age not to grumble about aches and pains or even more serious injuries. I learned to “play hurt,” a price that I was willing to pay and that promised me the dual advantage of advancing my standing on the team and garnering the respect of my coaches and teammates. Consequently, I played with broken bones, severe sprains, bruised ribs, painful contusions known as “hip pointers” and concussions. All but the latter could be detected by the naked eye.
I never once told a coach that I was injured. It was their job to figure it out, to observe me in action and then decide whether or not I should be pulled off the field. Keeping quiet and playing hurt were learned behaviors and important values on the field of play – a badge of honor.
Once when watching game films, my high school football coach chewed me out after a kick off when I appeared to be dogging it. “Malekoff, What are you doing, picking daisies?,” he hollered to the delight of my teammates who convulsed in laughter as he played the film clip over and over again. What did not make it into the frame was the knee applied to my head during a full speed collision with an opponent just moments before my screen debut. Only I knew about the collision that left me seeing stars and staggering about trying to maintain my balance. The truth is that I was out cold on my feet. I stayed on the field, continued to play and never told a soul. This was a scene that was repeated over the years.
I recently learned from reading a compelling series of New York Times articles by Alan Schwartz, that concussions in sports have reached epidemic proportions. Schwartz referred to this as a silent epidemic and a public health issue, fueled by a gladiator culture.
According to Schwartz, “At least 50 high school or younger football players in more than 20 states since 1997 have been killed or have sustained serious head injuries on the field.” He goes on to say that the sad truth is that these could have been prevented through better awareness and respect for the severity of a head injury.
He found that girls are even more vulnerable to concussions than boys in the sports that both play, such as soccer and basketball. I doubt that early advocates of Title IX of the Educational Amendments Act of 1972, a federal law prohibiting sex discrimination in educational institutions, anticipated that as young women and girls exploded onto the sports scene, that they would one day adopt a men’s code of silence. Apparently some have.
What can we do as parents to help to break the silence? If this is a public health issue we must insist that all children and teenagers and their parents be educated early on about the risks, consequences, signs and symptoms of head injury. In addition, young people who are planning to play contact sports require values education that puts the gladiator-play-at-any-cost-culture up for inspection. Adults who care about kids need to offer alternative views and models for demonstrating courage and heart. We must provide a counterforce to the dangerous and false belief that putting one’s well being or life in jeopardy when playing a game is noble.
Competitive sports involves sacrifice, perseverance, loyalty, honor, and courage, all values that will serve one well throughout life. They have served me well. However, maintaining a code of silence about a serious injury that can lead to lifelong consequences is another thing altogether.
Keeping quiet about a head injury is not honorable or courageous. On the contrary, it is ignorant and it is a betrayal of one’s body and mind, and of one’s loved ones.
We must demand that those in power in youth, interscholastic and intercollegiate sports protect our children; and we must help our children, from an early age, to think critically and to develop the good sense and courage, without shame, to break the silence.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY.
WHEN GOVERNMENT LIES, DEMOCRACY DIES
Weitzman blasted by Guidance Center
By Andy Malekoff and Jo-Ellen Hazan
First published in the Long Island Business News: Friday, December 28, 2007
For more than 50 years, the North Shore Family and Child Guidance Center has served children with serious emotional and social problems and their families.
Putting modesty aside just briefly, we do a spectacular job, often on a shoestring budget, and almost always under difficult circumstances. That is what we do.
Now, we find ourselves the victim of Nassau County Comptroller Howard Weitzman’s thinly veiled campaign to inflate his reputation, with no regard for the truth or for the people he might harm.
Here are the facts:
Four years ago, two employees in our accounting department conspired to steal $70,000 from us. Within weeks, we discovered the theft and called in the police. The employees were led out in handcuffs. They were convicted and punished. And every penny was returned. This is an unfortunate reality of doing business today, and it happens in the best of organizations – like ours.
More than two years later, in an audit by Nassau County, this incident was noted. By then, this was a non-issue, because we had resolved it ourselves, along with other concerns issued in the report. Yet Comptroller Howard Weitzman seized upon it and issued a press release, claiming credit for uncovering fraud, theft and lack of oversight at our agency. In fact, he did not uncover a thing.
The release was painstakingly worded to extract every bit of drama and to earn every nugget of credit for Mr. Weitzman, where he was entitled to none. He held a press conference to trumpet his accomplishments. He compared us to the Roslyn School District. And he issued a “blast” e-mail of the press release to his friends, donors and supporters, obviously to demonstrate that he was right on the case.
We had provided Mr. Weitzman with all of the ingredients for a juicy story – money, kids and theft. And he told the story – and a story is all it was – very well. To compare us to Roslyn is just pandering.
Mr. Weitzman may have done great damage to our organization and, ultimately, to the children and families we have been serving and advocating for every day for more than 50 years.
Unlike Mr. Weitzman, we don’t have a good publicity machine. For the most part, the people who know us are our donors and the people we help. Unlike Mr. Weitzman, we do not blare our accomplishments and we do not exaggerate them. And, also unlike Mr. Weitzman, we would not try to inflate our own image by harming others. Especially kids.
Shame on you, Howard Weitzman.
Andrew Malekoff, executive director; Jo-Ellen Hazan, president, North Shore Family & Guidance Center
By Andy Malekoff and Jo-Ellen Hazan
First published in the Long Island Business News: Friday, December 28, 2007
For more than 50 years, the North Shore Family and Child Guidance Center has served children with serious emotional and social problems and their families.
Putting modesty aside just briefly, we do a spectacular job, often on a shoestring budget, and almost always under difficult circumstances. That is what we do.
Now, we find ourselves the victim of Nassau County Comptroller Howard Weitzman’s thinly veiled campaign to inflate his reputation, with no regard for the truth or for the people he might harm.
Here are the facts:
Four years ago, two employees in our accounting department conspired to steal $70,000 from us. Within weeks, we discovered the theft and called in the police. The employees were led out in handcuffs. They were convicted and punished. And every penny was returned. This is an unfortunate reality of doing business today, and it happens in the best of organizations – like ours.
More than two years later, in an audit by Nassau County, this incident was noted. By then, this was a non-issue, because we had resolved it ourselves, along with other concerns issued in the report. Yet Comptroller Howard Weitzman seized upon it and issued a press release, claiming credit for uncovering fraud, theft and lack of oversight at our agency. In fact, he did not uncover a thing.
The release was painstakingly worded to extract every bit of drama and to earn every nugget of credit for Mr. Weitzman, where he was entitled to none. He held a press conference to trumpet his accomplishments. He compared us to the Roslyn School District. And he issued a “blast” e-mail of the press release to his friends, donors and supporters, obviously to demonstrate that he was right on the case.
We had provided Mr. Weitzman with all of the ingredients for a juicy story – money, kids and theft. And he told the story – and a story is all it was – very well. To compare us to Roslyn is just pandering.
Mr. Weitzman may have done great damage to our organization and, ultimately, to the children and families we have been serving and advocating for every day for more than 50 years.
Unlike Mr. Weitzman, we don’t have a good publicity machine. For the most part, the people who know us are our donors and the people we help. Unlike Mr. Weitzman, we do not blare our accomplishments and we do not exaggerate them. And, also unlike Mr. Weitzman, we would not try to inflate our own image by harming others. Especially kids.
Shame on you, Howard Weitzman.
Andrew Malekoff, executive director; Jo-Ellen Hazan, president, North Shore Family & Guidance Center
Sunday, December 23, 2007
LET THEM EAT CAKE
LET THEM EAT CAKE
By Andy Malekoff © 2007
I recently learned that some schools have banned parents from bringing cupcakes into school for their children’s birthdays in an effort to decrease childhood obesity. Some parents agree and some object. Those who agree are encouraged by reports that the children don’t miss the sweet treats when they are replaced with healthy snacks and fun activities. Those who object to substitute foods and activities see an end to an age old childhood ritual.
What’s the big deal anyway? Cupcakes can be replaced with healthy snacks like rice cakes. I tried to stick a candle into a rice cake and the rice cake split in half. I tried it again and the candle wouldn’t hold. So I bought a container of low fat Jell-O, scooped it out and put it on top of the rice cake. I stuck the candle into the Jell-O and it stayed, although it did jiggle.
Some think that fun activities are good alternatives to cupcakes. I would steer clear of pin the tail on the donkey and bashing a piñata with stick, particularly if the piñata is an animal figure. I think pin the tail on the eggplant might work. Just think how things might have turned out for Michael Vick if he pinned the tail on an eggplant when he was a child.
I am in favor of anything that will help children to grow up healthy, physically and emotionally; anything that will help them to fit in socially and gain a real sense of belonging. Some call this latest movement to reduce childhood obesity “culinary correctness.” It is fun to joke around about this, just as it was fun when Ronald Reagan declared ketchup a vegetable some years ago when he and his budget director David Stockman took on school lunches during Reagan’s budget cutting days in the early 1980’s.
If depriving kids a couple trays of cupcakes each year will really help to keep them fit and trim I am all for it. And, of course I know that this is just one part of a grander plan for improving kids’ healthy development and an easy target to poke fun at. The reality, according to national studies is that between 5-25 percent of children and teenagers in the United States are obese and, according to some reports, on the increase.
According to experts, obesity is easier to prevent than to treat. Prevention focuses in large part on parent education that includes encouraging proper nutrition, selection of low-fat snacks, good exercise/activity habits, and monitoring of television viewing.
Specialists at the Mayo Clinic advise parents to, “Keep in mind that many overweight children grow into their extra pounds as they get taller. Realize, too, that an intense focus on your child's eating habits and weight can easily backfire, leading a child to overeat even more, or possibly making him or her more prone to developing an eating disorder.”
In the final analysis and if I had to take a stand, I say give the kids an extra lap or two during gym class on birthdays. And, let them eat cake.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY.
By Andy Malekoff © 2007
I recently learned that some schools have banned parents from bringing cupcakes into school for their children’s birthdays in an effort to decrease childhood obesity. Some parents agree and some object. Those who agree are encouraged by reports that the children don’t miss the sweet treats when they are replaced with healthy snacks and fun activities. Those who object to substitute foods and activities see an end to an age old childhood ritual.
What’s the big deal anyway? Cupcakes can be replaced with healthy snacks like rice cakes. I tried to stick a candle into a rice cake and the rice cake split in half. I tried it again and the candle wouldn’t hold. So I bought a container of low fat Jell-O, scooped it out and put it on top of the rice cake. I stuck the candle into the Jell-O and it stayed, although it did jiggle.
Some think that fun activities are good alternatives to cupcakes. I would steer clear of pin the tail on the donkey and bashing a piñata with stick, particularly if the piñata is an animal figure. I think pin the tail on the eggplant might work. Just think how things might have turned out for Michael Vick if he pinned the tail on an eggplant when he was a child.
I am in favor of anything that will help children to grow up healthy, physically and emotionally; anything that will help them to fit in socially and gain a real sense of belonging. Some call this latest movement to reduce childhood obesity “culinary correctness.” It is fun to joke around about this, just as it was fun when Ronald Reagan declared ketchup a vegetable some years ago when he and his budget director David Stockman took on school lunches during Reagan’s budget cutting days in the early 1980’s.
If depriving kids a couple trays of cupcakes each year will really help to keep them fit and trim I am all for it. And, of course I know that this is just one part of a grander plan for improving kids’ healthy development and an easy target to poke fun at. The reality, according to national studies is that between 5-25 percent of children and teenagers in the United States are obese and, according to some reports, on the increase.
According to experts, obesity is easier to prevent than to treat. Prevention focuses in large part on parent education that includes encouraging proper nutrition, selection of low-fat snacks, good exercise/activity habits, and monitoring of television viewing.
Specialists at the Mayo Clinic advise parents to, “Keep in mind that many overweight children grow into their extra pounds as they get taller. Realize, too, that an intense focus on your child's eating habits and weight can easily backfire, leading a child to overeat even more, or possibly making him or her more prone to developing an eating disorder.”
In the final analysis and if I had to take a stand, I say give the kids an extra lap or two during gym class on birthdays. And, let them eat cake.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
HEADLINE HATCHET JOB
Headline Hatchet Job
By Andy Malekoff © 2007
Early in December, 2007 there were several news stories about a man with a long history of mental illness who took hostages in Senator Hillary Clinton’s campaign office in New Hampshire. A headline on the front pages of the New York Post read: LOONY SEIZES HOSTAGES IN HILLARY’S OFFICE. For two consecutive days the New York Daily News printed headlines that read: WACKO BOMBS AT HILL’S OFFICE and NUT’S LIFE FROM HELL.
By now you know that the headlines were referring to an individual with a known history of serious mental illness. Had there been no such history then the derisive terms “loony,” “wacko,” and “nut” would have been a way of highlighting the lunacy of a desperate criminal act versus employing insulting stereotypes to label an individual with a mental illness. Although these headlines are about one man’s criminal act, the effect of the language in the headlines is to discredit all individuals with mental illness.
So, you may be wondering, what is the big deal? Or, you may be thinking that you are reading another tired diatribe promoting political correctness. After all, the man did do something undeniably crazy. Nevertheless, although juicy headlines sell newspapers, there is collateral damage when stigmatizing language about individuals with mental illness is used. The headline writers cannot hide behind the crime. Language that appears in the headlines of popular newspapers does influence people’s perceptions, attitudes and behavior. In this case they promote an undesirable stereotype and reinforce discrimination. The headline writers who write such headlines are the equivalent of schoolyard bullies except, in this case, the schoolyard is the entire New York metropolitan area and beyond, and the headline writers are more sinister and have more sway than the typical schoolyard bully.
Stigma experts Bruce Link and Jo C. Phelan from the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University, offer insights on how stigma evolves. First, human differences are labeled and assigned undesirable characteristics that lead to negative stereotypes. Labeled persons are then put in distinct categories in order to separate “us” from “them.” Finally, labeled persons lose status, and experience discrimination that leads to unequal outcomes.
Many individuals suffering with mental illnesses - children, teenagers and adults alike - have long histories of being at the butt end of cruel and stigmatizing taunts and jokes. Most people with physical illnesses, on the other hand, are beneficiaries of widespread understanding, sympathy and support. This is the reality despite the fact that neuro-imaging studies show physical changes in the brain are associated to mental disorders. Headlines that use terms like “loony” and “wacko” reinforce the notion that mental Illness is a sure sign of dangerous and irrational behavior, versus a disease with a biological basis. Headlines that employ such language also reinforce the idea that mental illness is something that is “all in one’s head” and can be controlled only if one has the moral fiber to do so.
It is shameful that the editors of major metropolitan newspapers choose to exploit isolated criminal acts to promote negative stereotypes and reinforce stigma in people with mental illness. Clearly, simply telling the truth and informing readers about a desperate criminal act is less important to them than taking the opportunity to exploit and discredit people suffering with mental illness, through malicious name calling that reinforces fear, mistrust and stigma.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY.
By Andy Malekoff © 2007
Early in December, 2007 there were several news stories about a man with a long history of mental illness who took hostages in Senator Hillary Clinton’s campaign office in New Hampshire. A headline on the front pages of the New York Post read: LOONY SEIZES HOSTAGES IN HILLARY’S OFFICE. For two consecutive days the New York Daily News printed headlines that read: WACKO BOMBS AT HILL’S OFFICE and NUT’S LIFE FROM HELL.
By now you know that the headlines were referring to an individual with a known history of serious mental illness. Had there been no such history then the derisive terms “loony,” “wacko,” and “nut” would have been a way of highlighting the lunacy of a desperate criminal act versus employing insulting stereotypes to label an individual with a mental illness. Although these headlines are about one man’s criminal act, the effect of the language in the headlines is to discredit all individuals with mental illness.
So, you may be wondering, what is the big deal? Or, you may be thinking that you are reading another tired diatribe promoting political correctness. After all, the man did do something undeniably crazy. Nevertheless, although juicy headlines sell newspapers, there is collateral damage when stigmatizing language about individuals with mental illness is used. The headline writers cannot hide behind the crime. Language that appears in the headlines of popular newspapers does influence people’s perceptions, attitudes and behavior. In this case they promote an undesirable stereotype and reinforce discrimination. The headline writers who write such headlines are the equivalent of schoolyard bullies except, in this case, the schoolyard is the entire New York metropolitan area and beyond, and the headline writers are more sinister and have more sway than the typical schoolyard bully.
Stigma experts Bruce Link and Jo C. Phelan from the Mailman School of Public Health at Columbia University, offer insights on how stigma evolves. First, human differences are labeled and assigned undesirable characteristics that lead to negative stereotypes. Labeled persons are then put in distinct categories in order to separate “us” from “them.” Finally, labeled persons lose status, and experience discrimination that leads to unequal outcomes.
Many individuals suffering with mental illnesses - children, teenagers and adults alike - have long histories of being at the butt end of cruel and stigmatizing taunts and jokes. Most people with physical illnesses, on the other hand, are beneficiaries of widespread understanding, sympathy and support. This is the reality despite the fact that neuro-imaging studies show physical changes in the brain are associated to mental disorders. Headlines that use terms like “loony” and “wacko” reinforce the notion that mental Illness is a sure sign of dangerous and irrational behavior, versus a disease with a biological basis. Headlines that employ such language also reinforce the idea that mental illness is something that is “all in one’s head” and can be controlled only if one has the moral fiber to do so.
It is shameful that the editors of major metropolitan newspapers choose to exploit isolated criminal acts to promote negative stereotypes and reinforce stigma in people with mental illness. Clearly, simply telling the truth and informing readers about a desperate criminal act is less important to them than taking the opportunity to exploit and discredit people suffering with mental illness, through malicious name calling that reinforces fear, mistrust and stigma.
This article was originally published in the Anton Community Newspapers, Long Island, NY.
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